Bracket bowling

When the cousins, aunts, and uncles of JG’s family assemble, competition reigns and bragging rights are the only trophy.

“Bet you can’t fit ten grapes in your mouth.”

“Who can toss the most bottle caps in the bowl?”

“Ha, I finished the crossword that you couldn’t!”

“But can anyone make it from here?”

And so on.

On the beach, the whole family partakes in a variety of sport events to see who’s got game: quoits, four-square, paddle ball, bocce, Frisbee, and some melee called “rundown.” After working up a sweat, they all plunge into the ocean to see who can catch the best wave. And then more running around or tossing things. I don’t know the specifics; I abstain from all of that athletic activity in favor of other worthwhile endeavors like napping.

Unfortunately, with all of the unfriendly weather that frequented the Jersey shore last week, the possibilities for beach athletics were few and far between. What is a pack of competition-driven relatives to do?

Set up a tournament of Wii bowling, of course!

JG’s uncle received the game system for Father’s Day and brought it along for everyone to try. It was the perfect venue for exerting indoor restlessness and spectator heckling. I took one for the team (ahem) and bowed out of the tournament so that there would be sixteen participants – “the perfect number!” JG crowed – but I volunteered to draw up tidy brackets and keep score throughout the proceedings. We randomly seeded the bowlers and set up a double-elimination system with brackets for winners and losers. In an effort to keep the smack-talking to a minimum, I dubbed the latter the “elimination bracket.”

Play began on Independence Day with the following highlights:

• Mimi bowled for the first time and was ridiculously good. She said, “This isn’t so hard! Like that beer pong you all talk about.”
• I got to make a personal avatar (a Mii) and I turned out so cute! Even though I didn’t bowl in the tournament, I got to mill around in the background and that was thrill enough for me.
• One of the aunts bowled seven strikes in a row, resulting in the nickname, “Seven-Pack.” She earned the tournament’s highest score of 259.

With the onset of good weather on the last beach day, the tournament was abandoned with two rounds to play. I guess we’ll never know who would have been the 2007 Wii Bowling Champion, which is a shame because no one gets to brag. Ah, well. There’s always speculation, I guess, as with any sports commentary worth its salt.