I was invited to a bridal shower that’s taking place this weekend, but we have other plans, so I sent my apologies along with a recipe card (chicken with garlic and shallots) to be included in the recipe collection. The bride is a childhood friend of JG’s, and while I wouldn’t have been wholly at ease, I still would have gone to the shower to boost the young person ratio. It’s tough to be a bridesmaid where the majority of party attendees consists of mothers, grandmothers, great aunts, and the like, so I try to attend when I’m invited, even though showers are pretty low on my list of Things I Actively Enjoy.
Conveniently, the bride and her fiancé were staying at our house on their way up to
On the one hand, it is what I would have brought to the shower anyway. It’s fun to get lingerie as a gift, right? And isn’t it kind of weird to shop for it for oneself? Or is that just me?
On the other, paranoid hand – what the heck was I thinking? I didn’t know what size the bride was or what colors she liked or at what point she drew the line between sexy and trashy. How could I make a vicarious lingerie decisions for someone I have only known through catch-up conversations three times a year? How?!
So, I did what any flummoxed gift-giver would do. I called my mother-in-law for a sanity check. She had known the bride for at least fifteen years, which was roughly 14.75 years longer than I had, and I posed my uncertainty to her. “I think lingerie is a great gift!” she said, brightly. “Yes, that’s the size I would go with, too. Just include a gift receipt and it’ll be fine.”
Okay, then.
I made many, many laps around
When the time came to present that shiny pink gift bag, I was trembling. Was the babydoll too transparent? What if she didn’t like yellow? Or pink? Then we would have an awkward scene of her trying to pretend she liked everything while I did my best to burrow into the floor. I swallowed hard. At the pivotal moment, the bride lifted out the babydoll and exclaimed, “Ooh! I love lingerie! This is so pretty!” Well, how about that.
Perhaps this occasion was one of those times where JG was correct in his assessment and I did, indeed, think too much. The rest of the time, though, I’m pretty sure that I think about things with the exact amount of consideration that they deserve.
5 comments
Why can’t we, as women, seem to find a format for showers that is both cross-generational and actually fun? I don’t think the older women enjoy themselves that much, either.
You are brave! I never venture into lingerie territory for shower gifts. My default (hoping that she likes to cook and / or sees irony in serving take out) is a funky apron and some kitchen stuff from anthropologie. Like an ironic-retro-homemaker kind of gift.
I know, you’d think that after however many years of throwing these showers someone would have come up with something better than Toilet Paper Bride. Shudder. And - I love the funky apron idea! But see, then I’d tuck something lacy into the pockets, just for fun.
I think I would have thought-through that gift the exact same way. Or I may have just given up and gotten a victoria’s secret gift card so she could pick out what she liked. You did a really good job!
And, look at it this way. I think it’s FAR less awkward to get lingerie from a friend-in-law than it is to get it from your grandmother, who as you are opening the gorgeous sheer yellow nightie with matching thong at your shower in front of all these older friend/relative types, clearly specifies “That’s for SLEEPING in!” Umm, thanks Grandma! (Despite the awkwardness, it’s still one of my favorite pieces of lingerie. Grandma has good taste in “sleepwear” apparently!)
Oh, my goodness. I love what your grandmother said. That reminds me of one of my showers, actually, in that respect…
Buying lingerie for someone else is soooo hard. I probably would’ve given up and gone with a gift certificate, but yours seems much more personal!
I definitely considered the gift card, but what if she bought lotion or something? Not that I have anything against lotion, but that is totally Not The Point.
sounds like a great gift to me! and honestly, with a gift receipt, you can’t go wrong. One of my go-to shower gifts is some really nice smelling special lingerie detergent. It’s like sexy meets household-y, ya know?
Good call on the detergent! I’ll file that away for the future…
It sounds like we’re very similar. I feel like I’m the worst gift giver ever and I get so nervous hoping that the recipient will at least like what i gave them enough to not just throw it away or think “why the heck did she give me this?” That’s one reason I do love gift registries. I think the last bridal shower I went to, I got some candles and a movie that were on thier registry. I felt confident that it was the bride that had registered for them and not the groom. she seemed surprised and happy to get them, so I let out a sigh of relief.:-/
I always lean on registries for the actual wedding, but it’s hard if I don’t agree personally with their choices. The movie is a great idea even outside the registry, I think. For our engagement party, one of my friends gave us “dinner and a movie”: spaghetti, tomato sauce, a brownie mix, and “When Harry Met Sally.” I have totally stolen the idea.
Leave a comment