Dog daze

A voicemail to my best friend on my way home from work:

“It’s RA and it’s almost 6 on Monday. I just wanted to talk quickly because I’m having a tiny freak out. Because tonight, JG and I are going to get a puppy. A puppy! With a propensity to chew things! Like couches! Agh! Fine, so you’re not there. I’ll take pictures and send them to you. I’m sure you’ll get a laugh out of this tonight.”

- - -

We turned onto a road just wide enough for one car. The crate rattled in the back seat as we crawled by and craned our necks, looking for #151. Along the left side of the road, there were several older houses with various children’s toys out front. To the right, horses poked their heads out of square windows in the walls of a large, white clapboard barn. A shiny silo rose up ahead.

A woman at one of the houses waved at us and JG parked the car by a small garage. She led us out back to a small, fenced-in pen where five Westie puppies nipped at each other and fought for room at the water bowl. As I watched, sometimes through my camera, JG played with the three males and lifted them up for me to see them. I hated to admit it to the woman, but I couldn’t really tell the difference. They were all friendly, resilient, and patient with the half-dozen children grabbing at them, but I had no basis for eliminating one or another.

“What do you think?” JG asked.

“They’re all pretty friendly, I think. It’s up to you.”

“Are you sure?”

I suspected, from his optimistic tone, that JG had his eye on one puppy in particular. “Yes, I’m sure,” I said. “Pick which one you want.”

- - -

On the way home, my cell phone rang. It was the recipient of my crazed voicemail.

“Hi, RA! I just got your message. Is this a good time?”

“Uh. Um.”

“If not, I can call you back later.”

“It’s just that…I’m driving home. And JG is in the passenger seat. With the dog.”

[Giant peals of laughter]

- - -

That’s how Ted joined our little clan last night.

When we got home, JG brought Ted out to the yard right away to play, which really ended up being more like getting his bearings in our lawn and deck. He kept looking around, slightly confused, but certainly intrigued by the whole set-up. JG mentioned that we needed some newspaper to line Ted’s “puppy room” (also known as our laundry room), so I made a quick trip for provisions. I wanted to stock up on Frebreze and lint rollers, anyway.

While I was comparing puppy chow prices, one of my girlfriends called. “I’m in the supermarket,” I told her. “Guess which aisle!”

“Oh my gosh, you’re not pregnant, are you?!”

“Good lord, no, I’m buying dog food!”

“Oh, thank goodness.”

Seriously.

- - -

After the first 12 hours, it’s clear that JG is in love with Ted. It’s strange for me to watch him go through this transformation that enables him to cradle this puppy in his arms for a 40-minute drive, even after it has thrown up on him. I knew that he would be happy about getting a dog, but the reality of it is something else entirely.

As for me, well, I’m managing. I’m rather awkward at holding Ted and his expression when I try to do so is along the lines of “Why are you letting this crazy person manhandle me?” Hence, there are no public pictures of me with the puppy yet. In spite of my ineptitude, I kind of like the little guy. He is very endearing and he already knows that JG and I are the ones who will take care of him, although it’s a little heavier on the JG side than mine for now. I’m excited that Ted will be an ever-willing subject for pictures; I swear that he even turned around and posed when he saw my camera.

As much as I love Walter as a dog name, I decided to pay tribute to our favorite sit-com, How I Met Your Mother. When the main character, Ted, goes out with his friend, Barney (played by Doogie Houser!), Barney always leaves Ted hanging next to an amazing-looking girl after delivering a pick-up line that JG and I now need to say as much as possible:

“Haaaaaaaaaave you met Ted?”

Well, I think it’s funny.