Affirmation

I have been at my new job for a month, or five workweeks, and so far, I think it’s going very well. JG has mentioned that I am noticeably, even visibly, more relaxed than when I was at my previous job and I’m glad that he can detect a change. In many aspects, from my commute to my daily tasks, my current role is preferable. Then, I drove half an hour into the heart of the downtown area; now, I drive half an hour, bypassing downtown, into a scenic locale. Then, I hoped to find a spot in the less sketchy level of the parking lot where I was afraid to venture after dark; now, I park in a large, safe, lit garage. Then, I worked in a gray cubicle along a high-traffic route in my small office; now, I have my own office with a door, a window, and very little foot traffic. Then, my title was Project Coordinator, which I doubt could be any more ambiguous; now, I am a Medical Editor, which immediately conveys both my skill and its context. Then, I supported twenty, absent-minded people with fifteen possible tasks; now, I support people as they come to me with only three possible tasks that are directly related to my skills and education.

To be fair, there are several down sides to the job. I absolutely miss my former co-workers and the ability to IM one of them to share a funny tidbit or commiserate over a frustrating experience. I do not have the opportunity to travel for work. My role lacks the collegiality that can come from having a tangible team. I have to wear real business attire. My 90-day probationary “don’t take any vacation time” period happens to occur during the major holidays, so between October 1 and January 1, I will have only taken off for Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day. I took a slight pay cut to be here rather than receiving a raise like I had wanted. This week, I killed my second giant cockroach.

Even in that light, this position is so much better for me, professionally and emotionally, that I am able to give up the comfort of camaraderie and the cushion of additional pay without too much struggle. I am part of a rare breed of writing professionals that has a science background and now I finally have the opportunity to edit and write science-based materials. I am a corporate (albeit non-profit) version of a writer in a garret, except that my garret is on the third floor of a research building. In my walk-in closet of an office, where I sit at my desk to mark up a manuscript with the newfound glory of a red pen, lay out a research poster for a national conference, or edit a newsletter to communicate across the organization, I am at my best. There is no residue of fruitless frustration, weighty unhappiness, or strained desperation. The fear I had in taking the unnatural, voluntary risk of leaving my unhealthy, but comfortable, job situation has been replaced by quiet contentment. I am simply confident that I am good at my job and my job is good for me. I am lighter and more mobile because I am no longer wasting my time or energy on activities or tasks that drain me.

It is no wonder that my husband notices a difference in me. I see it, too. I am so grateful for it.

Cross-posted at Indie Bloggers