When Ted started working on dislodging Octopus’s eyes, JG made the grim proclamation that we’d have to toss the toy out once Ted could get to the stuffing. Choking hazard and whatnot. The thought was a little depressing since I had pawed through more than my share of Dollar Store bins to find Octopus, but it made sense.
Only a couple of weeks after Octopus turned into a one-eyed villain, I noticed that Ted occasionally emerged from chew sessions with threads of white, wispy stuffing hanging from his mouth. I felt a lump in my throat. It was Octopus’s time to leave us. I stepped on the garbage can pedal and prepared to make a ceremonial drop. But wait — what if I simply removed the stuffing out of the head? I dug around a bit, apologizing all the while. Octopus was de-stuffed in two large pieces and I tossed the now-deflated cephalopod to Ted to see what would happen. As far as Ted was concerned, the lobotomized version was almost as good as the original since the waggly tentacles stayed intact. Still, I felt guilty, so I pulled out Bear.
Bear and Octopus were purchased during the same Dollar Store trip, but the larger toy was off-limits until Ted grew up a little. Bear is slightly out of proportion with his long legs, and he has no bodily structure. Left unattended, he does a macabre impression of a dead-man’s float, but, oh, he is so soft. I drew Bear from his hiding place on the dining room buffet (isn’t that where everyone keeps their back-up dog toys?), dangled him around a bit, and tossed him in Ted’s direction. Oh, the humanity. Ted ran over, grabbed Bear in his mouth, and shook him in a manner so vigorous that I was slightly disturbed. What kind of brutal mentality was lying dormant in my agreeable little puppy? While it took a whole month to take an eye out of Octopus, Bear’s eyes were gone in fifteen minutes. The threads of his mouth were the next to go, but the body appears to be intact so far. We’re keeping Octopus around for the pleasure of waving the tentacles around, but the reality is clear: there is a new stuffed sheriff in town.
P.S. Ted is spending the day with the vet for a routine, boy-doggie surgery, so I’m sure he’d appreciate your happy thoughts! I’m interested to see if he comes home all loopy.
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7 comments
I’m sure Gus will be very jealous of Ted’s stuffed toys. They’ve become a big fat no at our house. Due to the fact that Gus tears them apart in 3.2 seconds – especially if they have a squeaker to be destroyed. We just can’t afford to keep up his habit.
And we actually do keep spare dog toys in the buffet.
You do?! Now I don’t feel quite so random. We are completely anti-squeaky-toys. Well, I am, anyway, therefore our whole house is. Ted always eyes them longingly at the pet store.
I couldn’t bear the thought of throwing away his favorite toy, Pink Piggy, when Henry ripped poor PP apart at the seam. Internal organs (stuffing) were spilling out from his maimed thorax. It was tragic. I have a button I’ve been meaning to sew back onto a sweater for, oh, A YEAR sitting on my dresser, but I PP was stiched up and back in working order the very same day.
Pink Piggy sounds so cute! I love pigs. Isn’t it funny how the humans get attached to the toys, too?
AS’s parents favorite toy is a giraffe that is practically in shreds. Every time Mama AS tries to throw the toy away, the dogs rescue it from the trash, and now she doesn’t have the heart to deprive them of it!
That is too funny. They can sense the absence!
The day we threw away Ben’s first frog was a sad day indeed.
You know Ted was spending that month with Octopus perfecting his eye-gouging technique. Now that he’s mastered it, no toy’s eyeballs will be safe.
Did you end up replacing the frog with others? Mm, I think you’re right about the technique, though.
I love how Bear has his nose injured already… oh dear.
Max has “Liony”, who he still adores – even after ten years! Rusty though, has no toys. He has eaten them all.
Oh, wow. I doubt Bear will last ten years!
Rufus loved stuffed toys…back when he was allowed to have them. He manages to open a seam and systematically rip out the stuffing and line it up in a pretty little row in under 10 seconds!
Good luck with your boy-doggie surgery Ted!
Yes, I saw the pictures! Ted came through just fine, although he was completely out of it when he got home.
Hi, just found your blog…fun reading! I think I had that same exact octopus when I was younger.
Thanks, Larissa! I would have loved to have a stuffed octopus! My parents deprived me with a regular old teddy bear.
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