About a month ago, Alynda mentioned that she had been included in a crude list of blogger girls that the author fancied, to put it lightly. The idea disgusted me, and I took solace in the assumption that I would never be on such a list, harsh blow to my ego though it was.
Over the weekend, thanks to my handy Incoming Links section on my WordPress dashboard, I saw that I had, indeed, been one of the lucky five girls for December. I was repulsed. My stomach turned as I read the brief, lewd blurb. I shuddered to think that the author had done his research about me to form the innuendo, and I had a strong urge to take a shower right away, as though a heckler had spat on me.
I hesitate to contact the author with my objections simply because I do not wish to be in direct correspondence. According to the terms of service of his blogging service, content that is not clearly illegal will not be removed without a court order, so I do not intend to start a private conversation toward that end. I would also like to avoid accusations that I do not have a sense of humor, that I take myself too seriously, that I need to loosen up, that I need to get over it because that’s just how the Internet works. I understand that I have made my image and biographical information available for public consumption, and perhaps misuse and satire with those materials simply comes with the territory.
However, this list is nauseating and infuriating, not only because of blatant misuse of a photograph that is my property without my consent or knowledge, but also because it represents unabashed disrespect for women and promotes the ribald entertainment derived therein. There is no humor to be found in the minimization of women into mere sexual objections. The author’s practice of including women he does not know in this list without their knowledge or permission is cowardly and of poor taste. I am insulted to be a topic of this author’s research and regret that I may have assisted in the composition of this list.
At the very least, as JG pointed out, the author has stolen an image from this site without my consent, so I have flagged the site as objectionable and filed a complaint with the blogging service. I am frustrated that I am not able to pursue much else, and that this weak action will do little or nothing to stop this flow of ignorance and condescension.
I have said my piece; I am entitled to it. That’s how the Internet works.
7 comments
I’m so sorry to hear and see this, RA.
I think your plan of action, although frustrating that you can’t do more, is the best one.
Thanks, Jummy, I appreciate it.
Sadly, it won’t do much — but at least you’ve made your feelings known!
I know, but it’s helpful to be able to do at least this.
Ra, I stumbled upon your site through a link on the site you’re complaining about, and out of respect I’m not going to give out the address to that site. But I have to disagree with you on this one. I don’t really see the connection between viewing women as objects and what was posted on his site. There were no pictures of your body and, to be honest, I found the comment about the pommel horse to be more funny than offensive or disrespectful. Plus, after looking at Alyndabear’s site that you mentioned, what do I find but a Shag list of famous men! How can this be seen as any better than what was posted at the site you were found on?! Is this a double standard that women can sexualize men but they can’t do it in return? And, as far as copyright goes for pictures on the web, I serious doubt that she contacted each movie star to get their approval before posting their picture on her site. I know you said that you’d get the ‘loosen up’ comments, but I think you’re taking way too much offense. The fact too, that he actually found out about you meant he must have read your blog, or at least some of it, rather than simply detailing sexual acts. If the site had been called the Beautiful Blogger list, would you than be flattered instead? And, if nothing else, isn’t the discussion that this type of site poses more worthy than the usual drivel found out there in the world wide web? I just think that there’s another way of looking at this whole thing.
Rebecca, thanks for your thoughtful response. First, I can’t take responsibility for what is on Alynda’s site. I was merely linking to her because she was similarly chosen and I did not want to direct traffic directly to the author in question. Second, I do not believe that there need to be pictures of a woman’s body to qualify as sexual harassment or to cause offense. Third, I think it is fair to say that the subject of potentially distasteful comments will take a different degree of offense than a third-party, unaffected reader. Fourth, there is a difference between posting a picture of me and posting a picture of me that I took. The author most certainly did not ask for my permission. I am not a movie star; I am easily contacted and there is no excuse not to do so. Fifth, the sexual context of the list is what is most distasteful to me. I would not prefer to be called out based on physical looks, but rather, for insightful content. Lastly, I do not think that provoking discussion automatically warrants quality content; there are plenty of controversial actions and social systems that instigate conversation, but are not worth pursuing.
While I agree with you that mine is not the only perspective one might have — as evidenced by the mere existence of the posts in question — I am confident in my viewpoint and appreciate this forum to air it.
How creepy! What is the matter with people???
It must be so frustrating that you really can’t do anything about it!
Yeah. I don’t know, but I think this is pretty much the extent of it.
Yeah, there’s always sites like that sadly. If I was one of them, I’d definitely want to give him a swift kick in the nether-regions!
Thanks, Katie. I appreciate the vicarious indignation.
So disgusting… what good does it do for this person to promote blogs this way? Particularly when it’s just a nice, normal blogger like you and Aly and not someone who is explicitly writing about sex. If I see that guy, I’m gonna kick him, AS-Cab Driver style.
I don’t really get it, since I don’t think there’s ad revenue or anything like that. I’m not sure, though. But I appreciate the offer of kicks!
I wonder if your Rebecca is the same one who left an Anonymous comment on my blog? Ah dear.
Hm, that’s an interesting idea. But unfortunately, anonymous is just that, huh?
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