Awesomeness approaches infinity

Today is JG’s birthday! Yay! We’re ordering pizza and wings to eat while we watch Delaware play in the NCAA Division 1 Football Championship Subdivision Finals. A victory over Appalachian State for the national title would be a fantastic birthday present for JG, but there will be actual presents and Funfetti cupcakes, just in case. In other words, it’ll be a par-tay, like the kids say these days.

(Oh, they don’t say that these days?)

I hope I’ve made it clear that I love JG because of the big stuff, like how he married me, how he’s financially responsible, how he’s a good cook, blah blah blah. To mix things up and in honor of his birthday today, I present a list of lesser-known reasons why I think JG is The Awesomest, which I hope will compel the World Wide Web to flood him with fun birthday wishes.

JG is awesome because he:

• Really loves math and celebrating Pi Day.
• Is always willing to reach for that high-up baking dish I want to use.
• Loves doing our taxes.
• Is a really safe driver.
• Puts up with me spouting about new vocabulary, even though he couldn’t care less how to use seraglio in a sentence or that the G is silent.
• Eats the “ugly ones” out of a batch of cookies, just to “make sure they’re okay for everyone else.”
• Drew out a sketch of the front of our house so that I could draw in where I wanted the Christmas lights to go.
• Can bag groceries faster than any of the employees at our supermarket.
• Abstains from watching football on Sundays at my request because — for goodness’ sake — wasn’t watching it all day on Saturday enough?
• Hardly ever gets lost because his brain is a map.
• Makes fantastic macaroni and cheese.
• Can rattle off a list of twenty-odd prepositions that he had to memorize in grade school because he and his siblings would race to see who could do it the fastest.
• Reads nerdy math books about famous mathematicians, breakthrough proofs, and unsolvable problems.
• Watches A Charlie Brown Christmas with me every year, even though I recite every single line.
• Salts the sidewalk early and often, because that’s how we do it in New England.
• Is a worthy Scrabble opponent. Bring it on.
• Reminds me to choose a CD (usually show tunes) to play during his NCAA football video game because he knows that hearing the Penn State fight song ad infinitum takes me to Crazy Town.
• Can eat an Oreo in one bite without looking ridiculous.
• Fights in the war against water marks on the coffee table.
• Takes great pride in completing a New York Times crossword.
• Walks Ted in the morning on the weekends so that I can sleep in.
• Appreciates an efficient spreadsheet and calls me with Excel questions.
• Has a deep love of cupcakes.
• Is dedicated to avoiding cross-contamination in the kitchen.
• Makes a point to kiss me good-bye every morning, even if I’m barely awake enough to remember it.

I think that it is fair to say that no one can surpass JG in the Awesome Factor today.

Happy birthday, kiddo! Love you!