A couple of weeks ago, when my manager found out that my birthday was coming up, she told me that people on the floor like to go out to lunch to celebrate, and did I have a preference for a restaurant? I assured her that I would be fine with anything, but deep down, I hoped with all my strength that nothing would come of this purported lunch date.
It’s not that I dislike the people with whom I work. It’s more that I don’t really work with anyone because my job is so isolated. After five months on the job, barely a handful of folks even know my name, much less what I do. I’m not directly attached to a specific team of people, and I receive work as it comes because I am not a dedicated resource for anyone. To be fair, I haven’t made much effort at all to meet people, but after receiving the lion’s share of sideways glances throughout the holiday lunch, I wasn’t eager to take the initiative. Although it might sound lonely, I like having my own domain of expertise, and I savor my quiet lunch times. The prospect of having lunch with co-workers who don’t know me (I could just picture it: “RA’s birthday? Who’s RA?”) and being trapped at some chain restaurant for an undetermined amount of time was, well, not very attractive.
My birthday came and went, but no lunch plans ever materialized. I thought I was safe. This week, my manager popped her head into my office and said, “How does lunch on Tuesday sound? For your birthday?”
“Oh. Okay, that’s fine.”
What else could I say? “No, thanks, I’d rather eat my warmed-up leftovers than sit awkwardly,” and “Do I have to pay?” are not included in suitable responses to lunch invitations. So, yesterday, I took a deep breath, stuck my container of rotini and chicken in the mini-fridge, and went out to lunch.
There were only six of us, but I felt odd as the youngest person by at least fifteen years. I heard stories about the high price of a grandchild’s school tuition, drinking stories from college days of yore, and why fighting high cholesterol is like “fixing something that’s not broken.” I was referred to as “the baby” no less than three times, and each occurrence prompted a discussion about how young people have it so easy these days and do I ever stop texting? Oh, I don’t text? What about that MySpace thing? Oh, I don’t do that, either? Well, young people do that stuff. These women had all read it somewhere.
I ate my ravioli much more quickly than I would have normally (i.e., if I had been contributing to the conversation), and it was a pleasant surprise when my manager paid for my meal. All told, the lunch wasn’t that bad, and my meal was tasty. At the very least, I had a better time than the intern, who had the misfortune of being the only male present and still a college student.
When I finally got back to my office, I had the following exchange with a doctor who is no small source of annoyance to me:
Doctor: Was today your birthday?
RA: No, it was actually last week.
Doctor: Why didn’t I wish you a happy birthday last week?
RA: I … don’t know.
Doctor: Oh, so you kept it a secret.
RA: Well, you know …
Doctor: How old are you turning, 21?
RA: Uh, no, that was a while ago.
Doctor: I’m just trying to comment on how young you look.
RA: Oh. Okay.
Doctor: Well, whatever. (walks away)
RA: … (with question mark floating above head)
How would I know why he didn’t wish me a happy birthday? Why would telling me that I look 21 be a compliment? It’s not like I have to strive to look remarkably younger in a department where the average age is 45. And I wasn’t about to tell him my real age without being asked directly, because it would have undoubtedly garnered another declaration of my “baby” status. That conversation typifies exactly why I did not look forward to my birthday lunch. Next year, I’m taking the day off.
13 comments
I can absolutely relate to this post! I got my first “real job” when I was 20, and all of my co-workers were in their 40’s and 50’s; most of them had kids my age. For heaven’s sake, my assistant was in her 60’s! I tried really hard to keep my age a secret, it just made things easier.
Hope your day off next year is lovely! :o)
xox
Dr. Last Minute strikes again!
Here someone makes a cake, and then you have to act surprised when they call you out in to the hallway to blow out the candles. It’s awesome.
Around here your department finds out what kind of dessert you’re in the mood for, buys it at the store, sticks a candle in it, and watches you serve it to everyone after they’ve all finished singing badly at you. Oh, and they “secretly” pass a card around in an unmarked file folder so everyone can sign it. Thankfully the actual celebration is brief — 10 minutes max compared to an entire lunch of awkwardness.
I feel for you, I really do. I always enjoy a free lunch, but having to sit through conversation that I can’t contribute much to is never much fun.
Haha “are you paying for it?” thats basically the only thing I care about when we get invited somewhere for work. Out with a client, out with some people from a different office… I don’t want to go/can’t afford it otherwise!
Oh, the dreaded birthday lunch. At my old job, we congregated around a spare table and ate cake for an awkward 15 minutes until someone managed to escape back to their cubicle.
At my current job, I’m the only employee in this country, so I’m a loner 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. It’s nice because, like you, I relish in my quiet time, but sometimes I’d like to have a 50 year old coworker come by to make small talk and comment on how young I am.
You’ll have to take the MONTH off, apparently you’re never safe! I hate awkward company lunches too, and we have them monthly. Ugh.
Oh that sounds so annoying. I’ve actually been the youngest at both of my real jobs. It was an issue at the first one, not at the second.
I’m lucky this year to work with more staff members who are close to my age, but last year was not the case. I was the youngest teacher in the building by 15 years. I got so sick of hearing about how easy I have things because I’m young, and about how rotten young people are. Hello? I don’t walk around telling you all the things that middle-aged people do that annoy me!
Around here if people find out it’s your birthday they line the hallways with posters and embarrassing photos that say things like, “Lordy lordy, look who’s 40″. You don’t know how much I wish we got a staff lunch instead.
At least your annoying co-worker called you 21 and not 12, like the substitute at my school.
I ALWAYS get told how young I look, followed by ‘well you’ll appreciate when you get older’. I’ve been hearing this since I turned 18, which 7 years later people still think I’m in high school. I try not to be annoyed by it, but when they ask if I’m still in high school and respond with ‘no’ they move on to college and when I say ‘I’ve graduated’ they get this perplexed look on their face. At this point I feel like I have to say ‘I’ll be 26′. But it usually makes me feel awkward in the end.
Maybe they are right, we will appreciate it down the road :oP
My office is small and friendly, but I still hate the office-birthday acknowledgment. I’d much rather invite the coworkers I see socially to my birthday gathering with the rest of my friends and not go through the whole cake-and-singing office party awkwardness!
At least you got free lunch, right?
Some people just don’t understand the need to recharge alone. It’s those people who drive me nuts! I like reading during lunch - not because I dislike people or am antisocial, neither of which I am - I just need alone time to make everything else “ok” again.
I too am young looking and this has been the crux of many uncomfortable moments fro me growing up. Finally though, at the age of 27, I’ve peaked and people at least peg me in my early twenties now and not my late teens. Phew.
Arrrghhh! I hate being the center of attention. Joining people for lunch? Okay, fine. Joining people for lunch to celebrate MY birthday? No, thanks!
Leave a comment