Aside from our structured kitchen procedures, the admission that tends to elicit the most surprise is that we each take care of our own laundry.
Gasps all around!
When we were brand-newlyweds, I had a laughingly romantic vision that combining laundry would be symbolic of joining our lives, the amalgamation of our domestic existences. We schlepped our inaugural married loads of laundry down to the basement of our apartment building and got ready for marital bliss. I was unprepared for the conflict that arose. Fabric softener was apparently not a given. Folding styles differed between upbringings. The concept of only half-drying and then hanging up to dry completely was unclear.
Rather than the harmonious blending of whites and darks I had envisioned, we had a clash of foreign laundering styles, each completely mysterious to the other but intuitive to the owner. It was clear that combining this chore would necessitate communication, teamwork, and patience, not to mention a dash of trial and error.
Instead, we took the realistic approach and returned to our corners. Each of us had managed to get through college on an individual laundry basis, and we saw no reason to fix what wasn’t broken. Since I re-wear a lot of my clothes before washing them and I can fit more articles of clothing into the washer and dryer, I’m on a semi-regular bi-weekly schedule. On the other hand, JG does a load of wash once a week to keep up with his teacherly ironing duties. JG usually tosses in the towels if he has half a load left over, and the only common rule is to clear out the dryer and the drying racks for the next person. Since JG and I adopted this division of labor the second day after we got home from our honeymoon, I unfortunately have no advice on how to persuade a significant other to take it up. It just makes sense to me: we each wash what we wear, and we do our best to split shared items down the middle.
Of course, if something goes wrong in the laundry process, I am solely to blame. When I leave lip balm in a pocket and pull out shirts from the dryer with greasy spots, it’s my fault. When I forget to pre-treat a shirt from a weekend climbing trip and find foliage stains dried in for perpetuity, I can only heave a sigh.
Ah, well. At least I don’t have to deal with JG’s tall clothing clogging up the dryer or my clothes mysteriously shrinking. We each have clean clothes when we need them, and no one is unduly burdened. It works for us.
16 comments
we do our own laundry too. Are you telling me this is weird?
Ha! This is where I get in trouble for having a less-persnickety mate. Shockingly, I have a system for laundry and need everything “just so,” while AS… doesn’t. This means that I attempt to micromanage his laundry even though we don’t even live together.
I think it’s safe to say that I will need to rule the laundry room in our future joint household.
Laundry can definitely be a divisive issue, potentially more so than any other domestic stuff. We have common laundry, even though GP definitely washes more stuff than I do (I am a re-wearer, too! It’s another attempt at being “green,” I like to tell him). What usually happens is that whoever is home and has the time to do the laundry in the generally-overfilled hamper just does it, and remembers what needs to be pulled before everything goes into the dryer and such. Folding styles and colors/whites mixing aside, it works for us…
Sometimes, though, I do yearn for the every-three-weeks laundry schedule that I had when I was in college…but am willing to trade it for all the joys and agonies of cohabitation.
I would be the SAME way, if I ever get married. As much as I HATE doing laundry, I really do not like for anyone else to do my clothes because they will inevitably ruin them and/or shrink them.
Seems like you guys have a great system! I just do all the laundry in our house. I don’t even mind. If I had to pick a favorite chore, it would be laundry. The OCD in me loves sorting, folding, and putting things away in their correct locations.
On the rare occassion that Joel tackles the laundry, I end up re-folding everything when he’s not around. Yes, I am THAT anal. He folds them front-facing-in! The horror. He also refuses to use dryer sheets, claiming “they ruin the clothes”. Who cares, when the alternative is wakling around with pants static-clinging to your legs and getting shocked by every doorknob in town?
To each his own - wise, wise words.
Torsten and I had a couple of struggles when we first moved in together and he dried a pair of my jeans and ruined a sweater. He has learned to be a tad more attentive and I have learned to hang up his work shirts right when they come out of the dryer to prevent wrinkles. Now we do all our laundry together. But hey, whatever works for you.
We do all our laundry together, but wow, this made me wish we didn’t. Fortunately, Bart is totally awesome about not shrinking my jeans and also, he’s better at putting his clothes away, so it forces me to do mine too so that the bed isn’t covered by my clothes alone.
That is a little unconventional, but if it works it works. Some people get tied up in what should and shouldn’t happen in a marriage, I think it is kind of cute you’ve got your only little ways.
hi, i found your blog through the amazing NPW. i’m really amazed with your kitchen procedures - it’s something i’ve tried to do but when the other person doesn’t really care to go along, it makes it tough. (but you’ve convinced me to at least get a salad spinner.)
as for laundry, i also re-wear and have much smaller clothing than D but i end up doing most of the laundry anyway. but we usually fold together. and he washes most of the dishes. so it kind of evens out. ok, it really doesn’t but i’ve come to terms with it.
I love that you do it this way. I’m always fascinated by how other couples do things! J and I have separate checking accounts and would never have it any other way.
I think you guys have it right. I’ve been doing Chris’s for over a year now and it gets tiresome. And then when I ask him to do the laundry for a change he does things like throw my wool sweaters in the dryer, and I can’t help but think it’s the classic “I’m going to do it wrong so I won’t have to do it again” move. Sigh.
Seems like a great system! Our system is I do the laundry and Tim does the dishes. (Lucky for me Tim could care less how his socks are rolled and pants are folded as long as they’re clean!) Since Tim has been teaching, I’ve had to add ironing to my weekly laundry time, but that’s okay. I’ve been making more multiple-pot-dirtying dinners to make up for it. (Okay, not really, but wouldn’t that be funny?)
I think that Tim and I need to try this.
We currently both do laundry together, and there is an occasional mishap, usually when he shrinks a sweater of mine… so this may be the best thing.
Although it is nice to come home and have laundry done.
I occasionally will do Rob’s laundry, but only as a big big favor and only to help him out. He’s not allowed to do mine, because he’s too lazy to read labels and hang certain things to dry for me. And that works just fine for us. I don’t think it’s all that weird not to mix laundry!
PS - if JG hates ironing as much as I do, you guys should look into getting a steamer. I got one for xmas this year and I lurve it. It has changed my life, and it only cost about $100.
We tried sharing the laundry at first, too. But after so many of my precious clothes shrank due to hot water and the dryer when I would have used cold water and the line, and after so many ruined bras that were tossed into the dryer and now poke me in the side, we said enough is enough. I was tired of having my clothes ruined and Hub-E was tired of getting into trouble. Now he does his own laundry, I do my own laundry, and we somehow unspokenly figure out the shared items like towels, washclothes, etc. It works great and nobody gets in trouble, we can do our laundry whenever the mood strikes, and nobody gets nagged at about needing to do the laundry. Ahhh.. now that is marital bliss.
Oh, and as for ironing: 90% of my things don’t need to be ironed, and same with Hub-E’s. Only his dress shirts need to be ironed, and for $1.50 a shirt at the cleaners, I’m quite willing to drop them off to be ironed for me.
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