During the second week at my job, I had to attend a mandatory orientation that included the history of the hospital, safety procedures, and a particularly heartbreaking session about end-of-life care for terminal pediatric patients. For me, the atmosphere of the two-day session was akin to the first day of college classes. As I entered the room, I sized up the optimal seat for seeing the projector screen and being close enough to the front to force me to be (or appear) attentive, so I took a seat at an empty table near the speaker’s podium. Presently, the table filled, and we made small talk about where we worked, where we had previously worked, and how we were getting lost in the hospital.
One of the people at my table was a pleasant middle-aged man named Joe. In our general “get to know you” conversation, we were surprised to learn that we lived just a handful of houses away from each other, and I recalled silently that I had been traumatized by his large-ish boxer, Emma, during walks with Ted. When I mentioned that I had been having some car trouble, Joe gave me his number and generously offered to drive me in to work if I ever needed a ride, and I took him up on it until we replaced my car. Since then, we’ve been on our own for commutes, with the occasional shared ride for things like car inspections.
Yesterday, I received an e-mail from Joe to the effect of, “Since gas prices are so high now, do you mind carpooling once or twice a week?”
I hesitated for just a second. My mouse arrow fluttered over the Reply button.
I had three silly, stupid reasons for hesitating, but they do not include wanting to spend lots of money on gas, maximize my consumption of fossil fuel, or kill the Earth, I promise.
- I get really nervous about driving with someone else in the car. I put on a good show about being all cool and collected, but my stomach is in knots because I am afraid that the one time I have a passenger is the one time that a person merging into my lane won’t see me. It’ll be the one time I hit a slick part of the road and go hurtling into a tree. In addition, I am really self-conscious about my habit of throwing sarcastic remarks in the general direction of idiots in other cars — “Oh, sure, drive through the parking spots. I didn’t have the right of way anyway, even though I’m in a lane!” — and I have very little faith in my self control.
- Joe is just slightly younger than my dad, and my driving lessons with my dad were somewhat stressful, to put it mildly. My hands still sweat when I think about it, and not just because I once confused the accelerator and the brake pedals and went roaring over a curb. Driving with Joe makes me feel like I need to prove myself as a driver, even though he is so much more easy-going than my dad. I can only hope that, while riding with me, he doesn’t want to grip the door handle in fear while he is screaming on the inside.
- Joe likes to leave for work about 30-45 minutes before I do, and in my world, that is a significant chunk taken out of my sleeping time.
I sighed. Then I clicked Reply and sent a chirpy response about how that made sense, and anything would be fine. The idea really did make sense, and my schedule really was open for this arrangement, but, oh, how I quivered in fear at the thought of having to drive and mourned for that lost morning prep time. Joe replied that he’d pick me up the next day.
I arrived at work today before I left the house yesterday, and somehow, I managed to pack my lunch, walk Ted, chase him out of the office, feed him, shower, get dressed, and take a self portrait with enough time to sit on the stairs for two minutes before Joe pulled into the driveway. Huh. How about that? It gives me hope that I can pull it off again tomorrow, when it’s my turn for pick-up.
Reluctant though I am, this small act of discipline will build character, save me money, and conserve resources. I know that it’s for the greater good, but it’s probably awful that I wish that the greater good had some kind of candy reward system.
19 comments
I wouldn’t want to carpool either. I just hate being to tethered to someone else for what is already a stressful time. It’s very selfish, but I like being responsible for only myself in the mornings. My coworker drives right past my house on her way in, but I’ve declined her numerous offers to give me a ride in. I’m sure she wonders why.
Good for you for going for it, but I would see no fault in telling him it’s not working out after a few weeks if it turns out to be a real hassle. 30-45 minutes of sleep is a hefty price to pay.
I think that if I carpooled it would have to be with someone who like to stop at starbucks on the way and who did not like to TALK at ALL during the ride.
I am not happy in the mornings!
Like Julie I’m a total grump of the “do not talk to me” variety in the mornings and like OPH, waking up an extra 30-45 minutes would never work for me. I love sleep too much. I would have probably used the latter as my excuse.
Keep us updated on how it goes!
depending on how long the drive is, it could be worth it to save gas money. but the extra sleep is a huge incentive to say no. is there any way he would be willing to leave on your schedule?
on the bright side, you might have good blogging material if he turns out to be a weirdo.
You should write your senator and suggest a candy reward system bill. It could be the answer to the world’s environmental problems.
It would be SO much easier to be a grownup if the world had some sort of candy reward system! Preferably Jelly Beans or teeny Snickers, but I am not picky…
I would feel the same kind of weirdness about carpooling. All the reasons you mention make sense, but I feel like young woman–dad-aged man often makes for an odd dynamic. In light of gas prices and the environment, though, I am glad you are trying to make it work!
Good for you! I think it would be a little out of my comfort zone, too. But, it will save money for more cute clothes! And, at least its only a couple of times a week. Love your Mission: Put together pics!
I hate having passengers as well. I get that same worry that I’m not driving as well as I normally do.
Also, sometimes it’s good to have external pressure to get you out the door. When I was laid up with my broken ankle and had to get rides to work, I found that I didn’t dilly-dally when I was getting ready, and usually I got ready in record time.
Good luck driving tomorrow! I am the same way when driving with new passengers, but once someone has ridden with me a few times I am able to relax. I hope it’s the same for you.
Also, 30-45 minutes of sleep is a Big Deal. You are a stronger woman than I.
I am VERY IMPRESSED with you for giving this the ol’ college try. I didn’t even enjoy riding into the city with Rob (my husband) when we did that. The bottom line is that no matter how much I love you, I still dont’ want to exchange more than a few words with you in the morning. If I neither love you nor know you very well, well, I would much prefer to ignore you completely!
I totally understand that. My commute (whether via bus or car) is my time. Sharing that time in a car would be like sitting next to that talkative person on a bus or in a plane.
Commutes can be very personal things. Good for you for rising above to do the right thing. Not that anyone would blame you if you didn’t.
Wow, I had no idea so many other people felt the way I do about morning commute times. My morning routine is so all over the place that even I don’t know how it’s going to go. I could hardly bring myself to subject someone else to that chaos.
I’m nervous nelly when other people are in the car with me. I want to be the perfect driver.
I looked into the bus route at my house and it kind of stinks that it picks up when I usually get to work and the route that picks up near my house drops off over a mile from my office (the mile sounds like nothing, but when you only live four miles from work it seems like more). I am still debating because it is only $5 a month for university employees and even in my little little car I put $50 in last week.
Your post just inspired me to commute with another girl who lives down the road, even though I had been avoiding it. If it helps the economy, I will go the distance. Plus, I am usually one of the first people to get to school anyway, it’s not like 5 minutes will kill me. And seriously: $3.65 a gallon? No, thank you.
This may sound silly, but the three things you enumerated in this blog. I would have totally sent that to him and then said sure, it will be good for me. I do tend to just blurt things out though…
Good for you for facing your various fears! Carpooling, since you live so close to each other, DOES make a lot of sense. I don’t think I’d like the part about leaving for work so much earlier, though — unless I was getting OFF early, too!
Hello, RA. I’m a new reader and this is the first post of yours I’ve ever read. I keep seeing your comments on Love Is Blonde and Bright Yellow World, plus I’m intrigued about the whole Mission: Put Together things, so I thought I’d better head on over here and check you out. I mean, check your blog out!
Great post. It’s good of you to sacrifice your time and anxieties to carpool with a coworker - it just makes sense, even if it is difficult. I myself am on week two of a mission to ride my local bus system to work instead of taking my car, even though it only takes me 8 minutes to drive to work. It takes 35 minutes to walk to the bus stop and ride the bus. But, you know what? I’m saving money on gas. I’m not polluting with my car. I’m forcing myself to walk a minimum of 35 minutes a day. I’m saving on lunch and breakfast by packing and taking it with me instead of driving to a deli or smoothie shop or, let’s face it, a fast food joint. Yes, I have to get up an hour earlier than I did before. Yes, it’s painful at times to walk everday. It’s a pain in the rear to have to pack my bag with everything I’ll need for the day. But I think it’s totally worth it. And I’m actually starting to get into a habit and enjoy it. Hopefully my figure will see results in a few months, too! That would be a nice bonus.
Keep up the good work!
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