Getting settled with year three

If there is one wedding anniversary tradition I enjoy, it is that JG is always on summer break by that time, and I budget my vacation days so that I can take the day off from work. Yay! My boss looked at me oddly when I applied to take off what appeared to be a random Wednesday, but I love having the break for us.

JG and I exchanged presents in the morning when I got back from my second run of the week (reward, please!). I happily opened two word-nerdy books, the new Jack Johnson album, and the soundtracks to Juno and Dan in Real Life. JG received a set of dominoes in a leather-ish case to satisfy my need to accommodate those traditional anniversary gifts, a book about dominoes, and Wii accessories. Thinking about our gifts kind of makes me chuckle because they aren’t traditional or even romantic at all. Who cares? They are right for us.

JG and I spent the morning at Longwood Gardens to see “Nature’s Castles,” an exhibit of three amazing, walk-through tree houses, and the water gardens, because JG has a deep desire to build one of his own someday. The weather was pleasantly hot, and the gardens were not crowded at all. We walked through the Idea Garden, which simply has seasonal plants in bloom and labeled for your convenience, and we tried to brainstorm what to do with our sad, empty flowerbeds. It became clear that, while neither of us has any real experience in planning out a landscape, we both had strong opinions, and we were not very skilled in expressing them. Oh, my. I think redoing those beds might be our next Marital Challenge.

In the afternoon, we lazed around the house before going out to dinner, where I had a delicious mojito with my Thai seafood paella, and JG opted for a lobster in a brandy curry. Since I had to work the next day, we made an early-ish dinner reservation, and we were in and out of the place before the sun went down. Ha! We really are “oldlyweds,” as Janet coined.

On the way home from dinner, I pondered a conversation from that morning with my sister, who had called to wish us a happy anniversary.

Sister: Do you feel wiser?

RA: Wiser?

Sister: You know, because you’re older. It’s been three years!

RA: (pauses) Well, I don’t feel wiser than, say, yesterday. But I feel wiser than I did three years ago.

Sister: (snorts) Yeah, I’d hope so.

Should I feel significantly wiser after three years of marriage? I still feel like a fledging married person, what with all of the miscues and small irritants of daily life. However, I do perceive that JG and I are getting settled and more comfortable with how being married works between the two of us. If anything, this third anniversary feels permanent to me, as if we’re not pretending any more. Is simply spending the day together enough to celebrate a marriage?

Yes, it is.