I don’t know if the girls at the weekend DC meet-up could tell, but I was very nervous about the whole thing. Oh, sure, I sent an e-mail with the dates of my visit months and months and advance, and I was genuinely excited, but mostly, I was scared. My biggest fear was that there would be a huge discrepancy between the online persona I’d built — and presumably, people liked, even just a little bit — and whatever I managed to project in person.
What if the witty, edited, concise person I tried to be in writing turned out to be blathering, insensitive, and opinionated without lag time to process my ramblings? What if I saved up all of my best qualities for virtual interactions at the cost of normal, everyday small talk? What if my predilection toward organization and geekdom, which I assume is ever so charming online, came off as obsessive and antagonistic in the flesh? What if they didn’t like me?
Specifically, I was concerned that:
- My ear-splitting laugh would clear the room.
- I would talk too fast for comprehension.
- My competitive nature would be over the top in a game situation.
- My nails would be the only neglected, unpainted ones.
- All my good stories would be old news.
As far as I can tell, my fears were unfounded, and I did not come off as a total phony. At least, no one has given me that impression, so I assume that was the case. Regardless, as soon as I was back in Gchatting action, I clicked on OPH:
RA: so, be honest
was I annoying in real life?OPH: um, yeah. I kind of don’t want to be internet friends with you anymore.
RA: sob sob sob
OPH: also, your game kind of sucked
RA: nooooooooo
OPH: KIDDING
RA: phew.
It’s an odd transition, this moving from an online world to the big, bad real one. Too often, I feel more at ease in my keyboard-tapping posture than talking with a new acquaintance, as if this whole conversation thing is all right, but I’d really rather check my e-mail. There’s something off-balance and not right about that, because I need to remember that all of this posting, commenting, and chatting is not simply to indulge my inner writer-in-a-garret. I’m communicating with other people by sharing stories, and the connections therein are not any less valid than those created by meeting in college or a workplace. If I’m doing my best to be genuine in print, then that authenticity should hopefully come through in person.
Even so, a high-minded dose of perspective won’t stop me from worrying that my personal idiosyncrasies will bother those around me. I’m pretty sure I laughed really loudly that night.
12 comments
You? Annoying, loud, hard to talk to? How far from the truth!!
It’s funny — I go through the EXACT SAME THING every time I’m planning to meet someone off-line that I’ve previously only known online. I just feel like they might have this positive impression of me that will be dashed as soon as they meet me! I’ve never actually had that happen, though (at least not that I’ve been told!), so I’m learning to be better about the whole blogger-meeting thing.
For the record, I didn’t think you seemed nervous AT ALL. I’ve found you easy to talk to every time I’ve seen you (a record TWO TIMES, but still). You’re the best, RA!
I know I mentioned this earlier, but I am totally jealous that you got to hang out with OPH. And the other bloggers too! And they got to hang out with you. Boo hoo for living too far north.
I feel you on the online ease though. I have work friends that I see every day but whom I would rather email than walk down the hallway to chat with them.
That’s basically how BlogHer is. Wondering if people will like you IRL and if you’ll like other IRL. I’d say 99% of people are the same in person as they are online.
The other 1% hides the crazy REALLY well online.
i have the same worries - i’m always paranoid that i come off annoying, and that people in general won’t like me. Will i talk too much? Will i talk about stupid crap? yeah. Paranoia? I haz it.
But you (and all the others - OPH, Janet and Zandria) = fabulous and fun!
I felt that way the first time I met up with a blogger, I was terrified! But in my subsequent meet-ups I have found the transition relatively painless and quite enjoyable.
And I always laugh too loud. Ahem.
xox
Your laugh is definitely memorable…in a good way! You are such a happy and vibrant person and it was great hanging out
Definitely unnerving! I have yet to meet a blogger in real life but the one time I was going to (and it happened to not work out) I was getting nervous that it would be awkward. Glad you guys had fun!
I was way nervous, too, as you know. I was worried that people would be scared off when they realized that I really do say “dude” all the time, I really do suck at directions THAT MUCH, I really am always late and my car really does have no AC so I really am that sweaty whenever I go anywhere in the summer.
But, as nervous as I inevitably get before these things, they are always really fun… and the bloggers I’ve met have always been exactly what I was expecting!
JEALOUS! J.E.A.L.O.U.S.
Although I am willing to bet I’d be nervous too. If I was going to get to meet all of y’all. WHICH I NEVER HAVE. Boo! However, Janet and I have been planning me a little trip to the DC for AGES, so if there is any chance of another Meeting of the Minds, if you will…and it’s planned in advance…I am SO gonna book a ticket. Nothing will stop me now!
At my place of employment, we all talk to one another quite a bit on instant messanger. I think it’s actually a great way to communicate with coworkers, since it forces you to be concise and gives you a moment to process a question before you respond to it. Love it. However, sharing an LOL with someone never feels as good as hearing him or her laugh in person.
*sigh* I miss gChat.
(oh, was that not the point of this post?)
WHY WHY WHY wasn’t I there? Sob! I want to hear your ear-splitting laugh and see your neglected nails for myself!
Leave a comment