I dream in first person. I don’t watch myself; I am in my body. My pulse quickens when I am fleeing, and I gasp aloud when I’m afraid.
Last night, I dreamed that JG and I were arguing about something maybe related to decor, but it all came back to money. The cold timbre of our voices, the stony silence, and that familiar tightening in my chest were eerily vivid. Eventually, JG had had enough, and he walked away in disgust. I was so angry that I picked up the closest thing to me to hurl it into the wall, but it was just a wad of plastic bags, and I flailed in my efforts to send it crashing. Immediately, I was ashamed of myself, and I let out a barbaric yawp of frustration. And I heard myself heaving deep sighs of unrest and slapping the mattress as I thrashed into wakefulness.
JG whispered, “Are you okay?”
I lingered in the fog. No, I’m not okay.
Later, I told him how I dreamed that we fought. “But we didn’t in real life,” he said. I know, but the foreboding and frustration are deep inside my bones as though we had.
11 comments
I dream in first person too.
My dreams are so vivid I live the rest of the day or even week thinking that it actually happened and I have to ask people around me if it did or not.
I know we’ve talked about this before, but I felt the need to commiserate with you once again on the super vivid dream. Last night I dreamed that I took some videos back to our local video rental store, and they told me that I had some late fees.
“Okay, how much do I owe you?” I asked.
“Two hundred and thirty-three dollars and ninety-seven cents,” came the reply.
I was just shocked into complete silence, and then spent the next five to ten minutes arguing passionately with the video rental guy. I woke up with a miserably negative cloud looming over my head, and all day long I have been lamenting the loss of $200+ for stupid VIDEOS.
You don’t fight? Wow.
Anyway, there was a good episode of “This American Life” on NPR a few weeks ago about sleep disorders. It was awesome. Check it out on their website, http://www.thislife.org.
I had a vivid first person dream the other night, too (about a friend of mine being pregnant, though she is currently definitely NOT) - and every time something like that happens, I wake up confused and disoriented and it takes quite awhile to piece back what is real and what was the dream…
I totally get this. I dream the same way. My husband NEVER remembers his dreams, and I completely don’t get it because I’m always emotionally wrapped up in my dreams. Sometimes, I’ll have a dream where I was crying, and I’ll wake up feeling completely drained - like I’d just spend hours bawling my eyes out.
Isn’t it crazy how real dreams can be? Sometimes it’s refreshing. Other times, I feel more worn out than rested.
Anyhow, I’m just stopping by to say that you’re adorable, and thanks for delurking/commenting on my blog!
You’re added to the hot mess that is my Google reader (no, really, it’s scary) and I’ll definitely be back!
Have a lovely week.
Um. I do the same thing. I’ve had a few dreams where I’ve been so frustrated with that individual that I’ve woken myself up crying. And then course, the rest of the day is spent de-angering myself at that person in my dream who does exist in real life but who, in real life, did nothing to frustrate me. It’s just so vivid!!! It’s like it WAS real.
I’ve had dreams like that before - so vivid that it takes me a while to realize that everything actually is ok.
I hate it when that happens! And most of the time when I wake up I realize it was all a dream, but I still can’t shake the madness. :S
Doesn’t everyone dream in first person? I have trouble letting go of particularly upsetting dreams, too. I’ll go through the whole day feeling generally unsettled, and every once in awhie I’ll try to figure why I’m so nervy - and then I realize it’s still the dream.
Once I had a dream where a friend did something really awful to me and it took me a long time to “forgive” her in real life.
I do this too, often. So often in fact that I now just wake up and tell John that I’m upset with “dream John” and he understands what I mean. He doesn’t understand what I’m feeling, but he knows enough to give me a big hug and ask me what he did wrong. Its how that you can be so emotionally involved in your dreams.
I have had dreams just like that before. I hate how frustrated I feel when i wake up even though I know we weren’t actually fighting.
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