This week is Spirit Week at JG’s school, and he wasn’t sure about taking part in the theme days because student participation is generally low. He forgot to bring his slippers for Pajama Day, and Harry Potter/Pirate Day seemed silly to him. There was, however, Clash Day.
“I’m thinking of wearing The Pants,” he said.
“The Pants” — yes, capitalized — refers to one specific garment. I don’t remember exactly when I encountered The Pants; I only know that I have been aware of their existence for as long as I have known JG. This legendary item of clothing belonged to JG’s late grandfather, Mimi’s husband. They were his golf pants, straight out of the seventies, with a brown patchwork pattern and a rather slim fit. Over the years, The Pants have made appearances in camp skits and Halloween costumes, but it had been a while since their last unveiling.
I was a little dubious. I didn’t want JG to be The One Crazy Teacher with his insane outfit while the rest of the school looked normal. One of the student teachers at my high school went all out on a spectacular vampire costume for Halloween, and when we all appeared in regular clothes, he asked sheepishly, “You guys don’t dress up here?”
“Maybe you could just bring them in and change if people are dressed up,” I suggested.
“No, I think I should just do it. I feel like I’m kind of paying homage to Pop Pop whenever I wear them.”
“Okay, whatever you want.” I waved him off and went back to heating up dinner. If he wanted to wear The Pants, who was I to stop him? They were awesomely awful.
“I need your opinion on this,” JG called up from the bedroom. “I think they’re a little tight.”
Oh, dear. Tight, polyester pants from the disco era might not be appropriate for school.
“Like how tight?” I asked as he came upstairs. “Can you sit down?”
“Yeah. I mean, I just can’t put my wallet in the back pocket.”
“Well, I guess you’re fine, then. What else will you wear with it?”
“I’m not sure. Maybe that blue striped shirt we got over the summer?”
I nodded. “And a tie would be good. The gray and pink one.”
“Yeah, that’ll look pretty awful.”
But it was a huge hit at school. Word spread, and even students he had never had in class stopped by to see him. It was just another example of the power of The Pants. I think Pop Pop would be proud.
14 comments
Oh MY. Those pants are awesomely awful.
JG needs to start wearing those pants on an everyday basis. They’re like Raggedy Andy!
Oh my! Great outfit
I totally thought you meant The Clash, and I was confused how these kids would know anything about London Calling. I wouldn’t even know what to wear for The Clash Day.
that’s freakin awesome.
So did other people participate after all? If so, I bet they wish they hadn’t – The Pants can’t be topped!!!
So glad he wore them.
My husband would be soooo jealous of those pants! He loves being the outrageous one when golfing with friends!!!
Now, those are some Pants! Awesome.
I want to marry the dude who came to school dressed up in an awesome vamp outfit.
those pants are AMAZING. those are the teachers, the ones you remember years later, that made a difference. if only for the spirit of pants….
Thinking about places where people don’t dress up for Halloween makes me sad.
i had the same exact thought as Duchess Of Kickball – The Clash Day ? Do we go around smashing guitars ?
Love the pants as well as the overall outfit. I’m also curious – did others participate, too ?
GACK! You mean somebody actually wore those in all seriousness once? It wasn’t just Pop Pop being funny?
My husband used to have a couple pairs of truly heinous pants also. I distinctly remember telling him if he ever wanted to share a house with me again, the tight purple vinyl pants would HAVE to go. *shudder*
um.
WOW.
Good for you JG!
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