Aleta asked:
Who would you say is more outgoing, you or JG?
Generally speaking, JG is more outgoing than I am because I tend to be introverted, and social situations wear me out. His family is much more gregarious than mine, and he feeds off of strong opinions and debate. My parents are really reserved, and I tend to be more conservative in my conversation.
That said, I am much better at small talk than JG is, so I appear as the more outgoing one when we meet people for the first time. I lapse into what I call “Russell Fellow mode,” so called because that was the name for freshman mentors, a position I held for two years in college. It was our job to be friendly, helpful, and accessible, and I learned how to spin off a conversation from any of the major small-talk topics I brought up (usually hometown, major, and outside interests). I was pretty good at retaining those starting points, too.
So, JG is more naturally outgoing, but I am much more likely to remember your name and where you work.
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NGS asked:
If you could change one thing about your husband, what would it be?
I would definitely take away JG’s Teacher Voice. Yes, in capital letters. Most of my teacher friends have this tic where they can’t turn off their authoritative tone and high volume in normal conversation, and while I think I could tolerate it occasionally, it is very hard for me to live with. It’s worst when we’re in the car, talking about something mundane, like what our schedule is for the next week, and I feel like JG is battering me over the head with his volleyball game time. I know he’s not attacking me, but it feels totally condescending. Something inside me shrinks instinctively, and I shut down.
In more than four years of teaching, JG has learned to control his Teacher Voice, but every so often, it flares back up. In that situation, I have to say softly, “I’m right here.” It’s a trigger to say, “Lower your tone,” or “Calm down,” without insinuating that JG is, you know, not calm.
Yes, that’s the first — uh, I mean, the one! — thing I would change.
6 comments
I would change the fact that my husband and I have completely opposite things about what to listen to on long drives (me: NPR, audio books and him: loud thrash rock that makes my ears bleed). This has led to some marital woes.
I have to admit that I am guilty of the teacher voice. My husband says, “I’m right here” more frequently than I care to admit. I will watch it more closely!!
I know the teacher voice well. I detest the teacher voice. Seriously.
I would change HW’s love of television. I know that this is a tiny problem in the big scheme of things, but he LOVES TV. Like, he looks forward to TV all day long. I cannot even remotely relate to this.
Interesting that you mention a ‘Teacher Voice’. I live with a teacher and I thought she was just loud in general. I never attributed it to her profession. I totally see where you are coming from!
I can’t imagine how loud my husband would be if he were a teacher. He is already so loud, and I’m frequently reminding him that I’m right next to him.
Torsten does this to me sometimes, except he’s not a teacher. It’s what I would imagine his Stern Dad Voice will be like. And I have to remind him that hey, you can talk normally, I’ll still get your point.
I don’t think I have a teacher voice, since I tend to speak softly in order to make sure the kids are listening to me and not talking amongst themselves. But maybe I do! I should ask someone.
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