At the end of my senior year, my mom and I were on our way to the high school for the spring band concert, and I was driving. And then I hit a turkey.
I will let that sink in so you can laugh. Go ahead — I know it sounds funny.
…
But it was really scary. We were in my old, tiny Ford Escort, and I was wearing a pink dress with strappy sandals because the seniors were going to be recognized at the end of the concert. We were zooming along the normal route to school, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw a wild turkey approach the right side of the road. I tapped the brake, but the the turkey suddenly took flight right into the car. Its body landed in the center of the windshield with a horrible crash, forming a giant spiderweb of fracture lines. Tiny glass splinters sprayed over my mom and me, and we both screamed as I pulled over to the side of the road. Once we had determined that we and the car were intact (except the windshield, of course), we switched places. My mom drove home by sticking her head out of the window and peeking through the non-shattered parts of the windshield.
At home, my dad threw a tarp over the windshield and cleaned up the glass as well as he could while my mom and I jumped into a different car. We had already lost a lot of time, so all three of us launched into get-it-done mode. On the way back to school, my mom kept asking me if I was okay. Yes, I said. I was okay. I just had to get there.
I ran into the building in the back entrance by the school building, and one of my color guard friends came up, exclaiming, “We didn’t know where you were!” And then she saw my stricken face. “What happened?”
“I hit a turkey on the way here!” I wailed.
My friend stifled a giggle. I didn’t blame her. She pulled herself together enough to ask if I was okay, if the car was okay.
“Mom drove it home and then we took another car here. She’s dropped me off. I guess she’s in the auditorium somewhere.”
“Okay. Okay. Let’s comb the glass out of your hair.” We stole the color guard beauty kit and went to the locker room.
Looking back at this bizarre incident reminds me of being a really new driver, and I hate thinking about the noise and the glass and the sense of being derailed. I don’t tell the story very often because it still shakes me up, even after so many years, and I cringe at the thought that the scariness of it will be overshadowed by that punchline: I hit a turkey.
Okay, so it sounds funny — I concede it. To answer your immediate questions: no, I don’t know what happened to the turkey, and yes, there was a head-sized crater in the windshield.
9 comments
Oh my gosh…that is seriously a bizarre story. But appropriate for Thanksgiving
oh gosh, funny, and also I’m sure at the time not so funny! Of all the things I fear hitting while driving, a turkey has never been one of them…
When I was a kid, maybe about 8 years old, my sister, cousin, and I were driving along with my aunt and we hit a dog in pretty much exactly the scenario above. It was HORRIBLE. We were all okay but not the dog, sadly.
I had to stop short for a wild turkey once before. It was several years ago, back when I was still in upstate NY. (I highly doubt there are any wild turkeys around DC.) It was a stubborn thing that wouldn’t get out of the road for almost a minute, even though I was honking at it.
Did you watch Gilmore Girls? Your story kind of reminds me of when a deer ran into Rory’s car at a stop sign. “You hit a deer?” “No, a deer hit my car.” (It was much funnier than when I hit a deer… I still hate driving at night because of it.)
This sounds frightening, actually. And I’ll have you know that while I smiled I didn’t laugh, because the idea of hitting critters is fresh in my mind (deer, last week) and it’s still scary, no matter how big/small/random.
xox
ARGH!!!! Funny, but so scary too. What a happy Thanksgiving story! As I’m sure this is the time of year when many a turkey is running for his life, we should all keep our eyes peeled.
The comment above cracked me up, as I was hit by a deer once too when I was in college. That sense of being blindsided by an animal is very disconcerting.
That sounds terribly scary… and I can see the humor in it but mostly the scary. I have never hit an animal while driving but I once had a fear of being hit by a deer while riding my bike. Bizarre I know…
BTW- my first car was a Ford Escort too!
It sounds terrifying! Wild turkeys are huge!
When I had just started driving, my mom instructed me to stop swerving to avoid squirrels and chipmunks in the road. “They’ll move, you just keep driving straight,” she said. And then we were driving down a windy road and went around a turn and a possum (an oppossum?) was sauntering across the road. I steeled myself, kept the wheel straight and THUNK. Drove right over him. THUNK, the back wheels went over him. “What are you doing?” my mom yelled. “You told me not to swerve!”, I said, and my mom replied, “Yes, but you could have slowed down.”
Yes, well. I suppose.
Driving is scary.
Also, this reminds me of the Gilmore Girls episode where Rory hits a deer, misses the test, and then later goes back to see if the deer is OK. I remember asking if my mom thought I’d hurt the possume, and she was like, yes, I think you got him, sweetie.
It doesn’t actually really sound that funny to me. I mean I guess turkeys are kind of ridiculous, but that’s scary! I’d be shaken up too.
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