Archive: About

My interview, posed by Nancy Pearl Wannabe, continues today!

- - - - -

You use initials for both you and your husband. Did you originally do it to keep your identities secret, or do you really refer to each other as RA and JG?
Both, kind of. We really do call each other RA and JG, though more so in writing (i.e., e-mail, IMs, cards) than aloud. I’ve been called RA for so long that it’s completely natural for me to answer to it and sign it to e-mails, so when I thought about starting a blog, it was a natural choice for an alias. I never considered using my real name because I’m so fond of this nickname. In the infant days of my blog, I wrote about a week’s worth of posts with JG’s real name, but I ended up switching over because he wasn’t a huge fan. Since JG is high school teacher, online anonymity is pretty important. Also, I have a unique name and I’m Asian, so I kind of stick out in the realm of public school teachers’ wives, and you never know what kids (or their parents) will dig up online. Until I got my camera, I hemmed and hawed about posting pictures on the site at all, but I’m comfortable with the decision to stick with initials in writing and refrain from publishing pictures of JG online. I hope it doesn’t come off as aloof and mysterious, but I think it’s for the best. (#34)

You and JG got engaged and married when you were relatively young, and you seem very confident in your relationship. Do you have any words of advice for other couples out there who might be wondering if marriage is right for them?
Ooh, tough one, NPW. When JG and I were going through marriage counseling, our pastor asked us if we thought the other person was the only person with whom we could have created a long-term, loving, so-called successful marriage. Of course, with our eyes full of stars, we both emphatically said yes. But, ha! Trick question! Our pastor gently taught us that compatibility is dependent on circumstances, but the commitment that’s necessary for a successful marriage needs to be stronger than that. If we were counting on being “right” for each other, what would happen when we seemed wrong for each other? When we would inevitably say hurtful things, be inconsiderate, and act selfishly? Or, superficially, when I want to tour a city on vacation and JG wants to lie on a beach? What, then? Well, then commitment, sheer determination, or stubbornness (whatever you want to call it) kicks in. Sometimes, even though I love JG, I don’t like what he says or how he acts, and I’m certain that it goes the other way, too. Because we’re just flawed human beings, trying to cobble together a strong relationship, our commitment to each other has to override our unavoidable gaps in compatibility. It’s not to say that we’re completely incompatible; we just don’t depend on that sense of being “right for each other” to carry us through.

For any couples who are wondering about marriage, I would pose the question: does your commitment to each other outweigh your compatibility with each other?

I was intrigued to read about your gymnastics days when you were younger. Do you ever regret all the time you spent training when you could have been pursuing other interests, or do you think it was worth all of the effort?
When I was six, my mom signed me up for a recreational gymnastics program after I was bouncing around the house in imitation of the gymnasts from the 1988 Olympics. I started competing at age 9 and continued until I “retired” at age 13, and parts of my fledgling gymnastics career were awesome. I was constantly learning new things and challenging myself, and I got to play in a foam pit and a trampoline on a regular basis, so it wasn’t half bad for a ten-year-old. However, parts of the competitive gymnastics world that I would put in the category of “not very good for a ten-year-old” include:

• Dealing with pressure to make it to Olympic trials, even though I’d be pressing my luck at the ancient age of 17
• Knowing that the back-up plan to going to the Olympics was to get a full ride to Stanford and therefore do gymnastics until the age of 22 so that my parents’ investment of time and money wouldn’t have been for nothing
  
• Going through conditioning sessions so intense that I was unable to climb the stairs to my bedroom
• Climbing up and down forty-foot ropes and crying all the while because I was just so tired

Gymnastics is getting a lot of bad press recently, what with the reported numbers of kids going to the emergency room, and I don’t want to add to that. Kids pick their activities, and rather than soccer or softball, my choice was gymnastics. Every sport comes with a certain amount of risk, and gymnastics has physical and mental risks due to the type of skills involved and the concentration necessary. I want to be clear that gymnastics did not give me an eating disorder, train me to fight past the pain, or stunt my growth. It was tough, yes, but definitely not forced on me.

I would not encourage my hypothetical daughter to participate in competitive gymnastics (as opposed to recreational), and I regret that I was really stressed out as a pre-teen because I felt so much pressure. However, I am glad that I learned how to discipline my mind and train my body to do drills, although I’m not sure that I needed to learn those lessons at such a young age. Today, my gymnastics days provide me with a full understanding of conditioning exercises that use the body as resistance, in addition to a wide variety of stretches. In climbing, I owe my balance, flexibility, and muscle control to many hours on (and trying not to fall off of) a balance beam. If I had started climbing the year I stopped doing gymnastics, I’d be a beast. I’m just saying. (#7)

I often admire how organized and efficient you are. I feel as though you enjoy the actual organizing part as much as the end result and I am jealous. Nevertheless, do you have any quick tips for people who don’t love organizing things but would love to have a recipe binder as cute as yours?
You’re right — I do love the process of organization as well as the finished product. For me, the main challenge in organization is to fit the system to the objective: form follows function. If it looks cute while it functions, then that’s a plus, but function comes first. So, if we look at the recipe binder as an example, I had to make sure that I could flip through new recipes and store tested ones with ease. After I figured out how to do that, I added the labels and color-coordination to please the smaller, aesthetically-minded part of me.

If you’re not as hyped up about organization as I am, I would still recommend that you answer questions like, “What do I want this thing to do?” and “What is the easiest way for me to use this every day/week/month/year?” Then, armed with your objectives, go to a Container Store or Staples and try stuff out to see what you like. There are so many tools for accomplishing any number of storage or organizational tasks (in lots of pretty colors, too!), but you need to know what you want to accomplish before the tools will work for you. Give you new system a month or two to settle in, re-evaluate the effectiveness by using your objectives as a metric, and tweak accordingly. See? Wasn’t that fun?

As a fellow word nerd, I definitely have a few words I dislike intensely. “Panties”, for instance. What are a few words you can’t stand using?
I am with you on that one, NPW. I had a hard time with this question because I found that I simply avoid using words that are distasteful to me. There is a class of words, however, that I hate physically pronouncing: words that are linguistically percussive. All of the phonemes end up on the tip of my tongue and the back of my teeth, and I hate that feeling. You will not hear me saying words like “dirigible” or “Schenectady” if I can help it. “Connecticut” only gets by because I’ve been saying it all my life, so it doesn’t clang in my head as much. It’s weird, I know.

If you were forced to give up one of your favorite desserts forever, would you give up Twizzlers or root beer floats?
Oh, hit me where it hurts, why don’t you? I would give up root beer floats, if I could still eat the components separately. I just can’t imagine giving up Twizzlers, my perfect movie food. They don’t melt or make noise to grab them, and if you accidentally drop them, there’s no ominous scattering noise of your snack sliding underneath all of the seats in front of you. And I love me some Pull-n-Peel. Yes, indeed. (#72, 73)

If you were playing host to someone who had never visited your town, what would be the first thing you wanted to show them?
Depending on the time of year and the time of the day, I would take folks to walk around Longwood Gardens. It’s the most touristy thing in our area, but it is so fascinating to see how the gardeners cultivate all of the amazing exhibits. If this visitor was only in town for dinner, we’d hop over to the Half Moon for a Belgian beer or a moontini, crab nachos as an appetizer, and bison burgers, if I could convince my guest to take the plunge into wild game.

If you were going to write the story of your life, what would the title be?
Uh. For lack of a smart-sounding title with a colon and a subtitle, can I go with “Definitely RA”? This assumes that I will have amassed fame and fortune with this here blog, I suppose.

If you had to pick one movie to watch once a week for the next ten years, what movie would you pick?
I’m always ashamed to admit this, but I am not a movie person at all. I like watching them and I usually enjoy them, but I don’t seek them out. Can I just pick the A&E version of Pride and Prejudice for its sheer length and book-like quality? Because I would rather read than watch a movie.

If you could go back in time and give your 10 year old self some advice, what would you say to yourself?
Grow out that ridiculous bowl haircut! You are cute, but the hair is not.

Once upon a time, I eagerly signed up for Citizen of the Month’s Great Interview Experiment. I nervously sent off questions to my interviewee, Jen, and she answered them right away. It was very entertaining to read her responses, and I awaited my own set of questions with anticipation. Between two no-show interviewers, eight weeks passed before I whined to Nancy Pearl Wannabe in all-caps hysterics — I believe I asked melodramatically, “When is my moment in the spotlight?!” — and she volunteered to put me out of my misery. Thank you! Hooray! She sent me twenty awesome questions, which I have split into two parts. Enjoy!

- - - - -

I know that Madeleine L’Engle is your favorite author. What is it about her writing that you enjoy so much?
When I first read the Time Travel series in middle school, I loved how the books were this odd, otherworldly combination of science and literature. I wanted to know where to find those quotations, and if farandolae really existed in my mitochondria. I felt like Madeleine (because we are on a first-name basis) was laying her smarts on the page, so she helped me embrace my nerdy nature. Later, as I included her contemporary fiction and memoir into my reading repertoire, I loved what she had to say about writing, faith, and the creaks that go along with life transitions. Madeleine didn’t just rattle off a litany of twelve steps to change my life; she kind of walked alongside me and bounced ideas around, feeling them out and seeing which ones stuck. Every time I re-read one of her books, it’s a comforting cadence of a strong vocabulary, interwoven themes and sources, and an underlying sense of hope, even when circumstances seem absolutely hopeless. She makes heroes out of flawed people, and I don’t perceive a hint of contrivance in her writing. I find her utterly inspiring.

When I read about her death last year, I had the strange sense that I had lost a wise aunt with whom I’d been exchanging letters for my whole life. I’m still not used to the idea that there won’t be a new book of hers for me to add to my Christmas list. My one enduring hope is that her death will result in the reissuing of some of her out-of-print works so that I can quickly snatch them up for my collection. (#25)

As a librarian, I always love to see what other people are reading, especially when I find someone who enjoys young adult literature as much as I. Does it ever bother you that people tend to ignore YA [young adult] literature as a valued genre?
Yes! In high school, I always got sideways glances when people thought I was reading a “kids’ book,” but they didn’t know what they were missing. In one of Madeleine’s books on writing (A Circle of Quiet, I think?), she talks about fielding a question that implied that writing for children is easier than writing for adults. She says, and I agree, that children require more consideration from their authors because they don’t necessarily have social or cultural constructs in which to slide the ideas of the book. I also think that YA authors have a greater responsibility to their audience because what they read is so important to forming views on the world and the people in it, so neither the author nor the reader should take accountability lightly. My blood boils when people characterize youth literature as a sort of cash cow that only includes serials like Goosebumps. Dig deeper, people.

Do you have any other recommendations for people who may be interested in checking out other young adult authors?
Because I’m not exactly plugged in to the YA world right now, I’m going to ride the Madeleine train one more time. Of course, there is the Time Travel series, with A Wrinkle in Time, A Wind in the Door, Many Waters, and A Swiftly Tilting Planet. These are classics, and they never get old for me.

If you’ve already read those, I highly recommend the books that center around Meg Murry’s oldest daughter, Poly (short for Polyhymnia):

• Dragons in the Water
• The Arm of the Starfish
• A House Like a Lotus
  
• An Acceptable Time

These novels are less science-oriented, but they incorporate more of a typical coming-of-age storyline, in addition to some exotic locales.

When you sit down to write a blog post, do you always have a definite idea in your mind of what you are going to write about?
Yes, I do. Whenever I’ve looked back to my archives and noticed a post that I don’t particularly like, it’s usually a result of trying to manufacture a narrative when it isn’t there. So I do my best to to write when I have something to say and I feel like the end result is something coherent and somewhat compelling. Sometimes, I’ve spent an hour or so chugging through what I think I want to write, but it ends up being worthless, so I don’t post it. If I think it’s a waste of my time to proof, then I know it should be deleted or at least sit for a while in the drafts folder.

Do you see blogging as more of an extension of the journals you kept when you were younger, or as a way to constantly better your writing (which, by the way, is already excellent)?
Aw, thanks, NPW! I view my journals of yore as mere vehicles for processing my teenage and college years, which were not very exciting, despite my propensity to underline and overuse exclamation points. I didn’t say anything profound or new, I just spewed out events and reactions onto the page. Journaling was more about the physical act of putting pen to paper than anything else, which helped me develop the habit of processing my experiences through words. In these parts, I try to write cogent pieces that are worth my time spent writing and others’ time spent reading. I want to have accomplished something from the first word to the last, even if it’s just getting a clearer idea of a hard time at work or why I love autumn. I like how the blog allows me to experiment with different formats and points of view to accommodate what I want to communicate. I hope to show, not tell, and I like to challenge myself to find the best possible words to describe what I want to convey. I know that I am not successful at this challenge every single time I post, but that’s the goal, nonetheless. I hesitate to say that this site exists solely for me to improve my writing, but that’s definitely my top priority. (#23)

I’ve always enjoyed your photographs and how they match the narrative of your writing. Do you like taking photos as a record of events, or more for an artistic type of composition?
I think that I take pictures more as a record-keeping device than an artistic expression, mostly because I don’t really know what the heck I’m doing. I’m totally tickled when people say I’ve taken a good picture because I just line it up how I think it should go, hold my breath, and press the button. I intentionally bought the camera I have so that I wouldn’t have to do a lot of book study on the technical aspects of photography, so taking pictures is 100% fun and 0% work. If anything, I might have an eye for composition, but I still take a million pictures before I whittle them down to the ones I eventually post on Flickr. I think I got the photos-as-documentation gene from my dad, who wouldn’t let us dig into the Thanksgiving dinner until he had shot it from all angles. I’m always that girl at events who makes people pose for pictures, and everyone groans at me, but guess what — they always want the pictures in the end, so what’s all the complaining about?

In the past you have mentioned that while you have a home in Pennsylvania, you are a New Englander at heart. If money were not an issue, could you see yourself moving back to the northeast?
I would love to have a small-ish Cape Cod house with dormers and window seats, a fireplace, a terrace out back, and a yard full of glacially-deposited boulders. Unfortunately, I fear that JG would feel terribly out of place and relatively Southern, and therefore, the target of good old Puritan disdain. Plus, I am very bad at driving in inclement weather. So, no, we probably would not move back to New England with boundless funds. I appreciate my homeland as a place to visit and a topic on which to wax poetic, and I don’t mind being the source of dissent here in Pennsylvania. None of those Philadelphia teams will ever get my support, do you hear me?!

If you could keep Ted but also had to adopt an additional animal that was not a cat, dog, fish, or bird, what would you choose?
I think I will go with a turtle, even though I’ve heard that they can smell bad. I’m allergic to cats, so I’m wary of any unknown furry animals, and rodents make me screech and jump up on a chair, so anything hamster-like is out of the question. So, yes, a turtle named Sheldon. Or maybe Testudo.

If JG decided to take you on your dream vacation tomorrow, where would he bring you and what would you do?
I would love to travel across Europe and take in all of the history, cathedrals, museums, music, and food. I would take millions of pictures and complain about how pedestrian life in the United States would be. Sigh. Thankfully, this type of vacation is not completely out of the picture; JG and I have decided that once we pay off our mortgage, we’ll go on one of those Mediterranean cruises and hopefully hit a happy medium between tourism and relaxation. Woo! Of course, if we end up selling our current house and buying a new one at some point, that cruise will be delayed accordingly, but I don’t care. The mere fact that JG would come with me as I geek out on architecture and food is enough for now.

If you had to choose between spending the rest of your life as either a CSI or a mortician, which would you choose?
Without a doubt, I’d be a CSI. Specifically, I think I’d like to work with Hodges in Trace because I love mass spectrometry and liquid chromatography. After all, one of my favorite courses in my chemistry minor was Instrumental Methods Analysis; I am very good at writing up lab reports. Best of all, there would be no blood and guts, which would minimize the chances of me getting sick to my stomach. (#19, 75)

If I had had a March Madness pool to enter, I would have taken UConn all the way to the end. It’s just how I do it — if the Huskies make it to the tournament, they simply must win every game. That is how we do basketball in Husky territory. In the off chance that the Huskies do not make it to the tournament, as in last year’s unspeakable season, I make my choices based on if I know someone who attended that school (and if I liked that person), if I recognize the school’s initials (e.g., UTEP is not a winner in my book), and if I like the school’s mascot and/or colors. It is a science, people.

This year, though, I had my hypothetical money on UConn. And then they had the nerve to get beaten by one point in the first round by a 13 seed! Where the heck did you come from, San Diego? I was disgusted at the end of that game. I still am!

In an effort to quell the righteous wrath that comes with a UConn loss — oy, I even hate to form the phrase — I present characteristics and mannerisms, some of which I have retained with stubborn determination, that confirm my Connecticut roots despite my Pennsylvanian surroundings.

• I call every large sandwich a “grinder,” because a “sub” is a naval submarine and “hoagie” is not a word I readily understand.
• I am still not accustomed to a scenic view that does not include the comforting, rounded tops of the Appalachians.
• I love clam chowder (although I do not pronounce it as “chowdah”), so I order it all the time. Then I am inevitably disappointed because what I receive is not clammy enough, too potato-y, too salty, too runny, or all of the above, and I smolder for the rest of the night in bitterness against the lack of authentic clam chowder.
• I pronounce “aunt” to rhyme with “font,” not like it is an insect that lives in a hill.
• I expect fall to come once school starts, not after Halloween.
• I don’t know where the Mason-Dixon line is, exactly, but I am pretty sure that relative to New England, Pennsylvania is “down south.”
• I am amazed at the amount of snow that will warrant a school closure.
• Despite my love for Peyton Manning and my better judgment, I root for the Patriots. I’m not proud of it.
• I don’t view the coastline as a place for swimming or even relaxing because shorelines are supposed to be rocky and the water will inevitably freeze your limbs off. Let’s just walk, or maybe climb up a lighthouse.

Don’t get me wrong — I love our town and our house. I love living in a place where neither JG or I grew up, so we’re both learning. It’s just that, sometimes, I feel displaced and not quite right in my environment. Whenever I go back to Connecticut, I just breathe a sigh and know that I feel better. I don’t know what it is. I haven’t been able to put my finger on it.

Of course, getting booted out of the basketball tournament doesn’t help much. Hmph.

#4

Janet asked:

What character from a TV sitcom do you most relate to?

I am going to assume that Gilmore Girls counts as a sitcom because I wholeheartedly relate to Lane Kim. It’s not just the Asian thing, although that certainly played a big role. Whenever Lane trundled over to Rory’s house in her band uniform, or coming back from Seventh-Day Adventist camp, or complaining about how she was supposed to marry a “nice Asian boy,” I saw myself. She was constantly conflicted between being a dutiful daughter and a fun person, and with the meta combination of every Asian mother I have ever had the opportunity to meet embodied in Mrs. Kim, it wasn’t easy. I felt her pain.

If Gilmore Girls doesn’t count as a sitcom, then second place goes to Minkus from Boy Meets World. I was totally that kid.

- - - - -

Operation Pink Herring asked:

What is your all-time favorite TV show?

I do not exaggerate when I say that this question was one of the hardest ones for me. How does someone pick an all-time favorite TV show? Do I base it on lines memorized? Episodes seen? DVDs owned? Newer favorites? Conflicted, I asked OPH if it would be okay if I went outside the lines and identified two shows (gasp!). To my relief, she assented.

First, I choose to reveal the show whose mention makes my heart leap with an unmatched affection, whose absence on the airways causes me despair. I risk alienation and dissension, but this show is for the true and loyal, to whom I belong. Perfect Strangers, I miss you. My mom and I laughed our way through Balki misconstruing English idioms and Cousin Larry getting stressed out. We wrung our hands when they tried to move that piano for Miss Lydia. Whenever I see Sam Anderson, I always want to cry out, “It’s Mr. Gorpley!” But best of all, in times of celebration, Perfect Strangers taught me to shout triumphantly, “Now we are so happy, we do the Dance of Joy!” Good times, good times.

My current favorite is not really a shocker: How I Met Your Mother. JG and I have been hooked ever since we stumbled upon the episode with the sword fight in the first season. We sing out the theme song without fail, and we even named our dog after the main character. I laugh out loud during every episode, and I love hearing the voice of Bob Saget during the flash-forwards. The creators are really smart and current; the characters have MySpace pages, including Robin’s eighties pop-star alter-ego, Robin Sparkles. The dialog is quick and witty, and the writers reward long-time viewers with references to trivial facts like Marshall’s obsession with the Loch Ness Monster. Plus, how can you not love anything with Doogie Howser? It is impossible.

HIMYM is the show I most look forward to watching, and I am so excited that the first new episode in a very long time is airing tonight! Next week, Britney Spears will have a guest appearance, and we all want to see how that turns out. Basically, HIMYM is pure awesome. You have to see to believe. It is, without a doubt, legen — wait for it! — dary.

Previously: Lent, hypothetical actions, superpower

#60