Archive: Friends and Family

Over the weekend, I heard through the high school grapevine that a friend’s brother, a law student in New York City, was in a serious accident recently. I heard bits and pieces of information like car accident, train accident, induced coma, amputated foot, and other such disturbing snippets. No one had the full story. It was upsetting. I snapped at my parents when they couldn’t fill in the gaps.

I should also mention that this law student is the younger brother of Kip, who passed away seven years ago today.

Sorry. I need to take a moment.

(Deep breath)

Okay.

My mom sent me all the information she could as it trickled through the small town system, and the bottom line is that the brother is in stable condition. He was struck by a train two weeks ago, and he suffered head trauma. Part of his foot had to be amputated due to the bones shattering, and he had fluid in his lungs that required a respirator. Over the weekend, he came off the respirator and was able to squeeze people’s hands on command and make more focused eye contact. He is lucky to be alive, and things are improving every day.

But, oh, the whole situation wrenches me. My breath catches in my throat, and I can’t help but remember the how he used to be the kid brother who tagged along with Kip and our classmates, how he crowed with triumph when he outgrew me. And I think about how he is in a hospital now with a long road to recovery, and how his parents have to be immeasurably strong. Again. I can’t imagine. I don’t want to. I don’t want to think about it.

On Monday, I wrote my annual card to Kip’s mom. This time, I told her about the picture in my office and how it helps me remember Kip and their family. I wrote about how JG and I are doing and the types of plans we have for the summer. Since I didn’t yet have substantive information, I wrote that I heard that perhaps their other son had been in an accident, and I would be thinking of him especially.

Now, after I’ve read the details, my paltry little card seems so stupid and meaningless, even though I know it’s not. I just feel so helpless in my flailing attempt to reach out and break through the parents’ inevitable grief and worry. And then that very strong wave of missing Kip washes over me, and I am sad in that familiar way. But mostly, today, my heart hurts that his parents are struggling over the pain and recovery of their other son.

But I have to remember that he is lucky to be alive, and things are improving every day.

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There is a benefit in the works to help the family with medical expenses, so if you would like information about contributing, please e-mail me. Thanks in advance for your thoughts and prayers in this situation.

On Saturday, I woke up obscenely early by no fault of an alarm clock. I lay in bed for five, ten, and then fifteen minutes with increasing certainty that I was not going to find my way back to sleep any time soon, so I slid out of bed as quietly as possible. As long as I was up, I figured I’d take the morning dog walk, which was not an entirely altruistic intention, since it would leave my afternoon open for a nice long nap.

I had padded to my dresser when JG rolled over and asked me if I was okay. Because, you know, if I am up before 7am on a weekend with no real plans in sight, there is probably something wrong.

“I’m just awake,” I said. “I thought I’d walk the dog for you.”

“But it’s your birthday!” he protested.

Yes, yes, it was. Shrug. It didn’t feel like my birthday, and I say that with no blame attached. It’s just how things worked out. We weren’t having an official party, so I hadn’t spent the week researching and making desserts. JG wasn’t teasing me about secret presents because his gift to me is a trip to the very awesome outlets this coming weekend. I hated to be a downer, but I wasn’t really psyched about the whole birthday thing this year. It wasn’t that I was getting older or that I felt sulky for not having a party. I just didn’t feel any anticipation, and that’s what I most associate with a birthday. Instead, I woke up super early for no reason on a Saturday, and the only thing I could think of was to walk the dog. How much more pathetic could I get?

JG wouldn’t let me go, at least not right away. We talked for an hour or so, and then I did end up taking the morning walk to free up my afternoon for lazing about. We made the grocery list together and zoomed through the store before the madding crowds arrived, and then JG made me my requested breakfast: a vegetable egg-white omelet with chewy bacon. We caught up on DVRed television, during which I got all teary during the Parenthood pilot no fewer than three times. So, basically, it was a very relaxing Saturday morning with all of my favorite things, and there’s not much more one can ask for, birthday or not.

And then!

My sister and her boyfriend arrived to hang out with us! I may be biased, but my sister is one of the most festive people I know, and she snapped me out of my non-birthday funk. I knew they were coming up, but it was so nice to see them and the giant bag from Georgetown Cupcake. Let the birthday festivities go forth!

We played Facts in Five! We went to the Half Moon for dinner! I ordered crab nachos! And ate a steak! And then rolled out of the restaurant! JG produced a surprise birthday cake! A lemon one! And there were cupcakes! My sister popped open a bottle of Prosecco! I proceeded to beat her twice in a row in Wii Sports Gladiator dueling! I think I fell dead asleep after that part, which is hardly surprising given the night’s consumption, including two martinis at dinner (one pomegranate and one dirty) and half a bottle of Prosecco.

Last night, I packed up the mountains of remaining desserts. First, I bagged and froze the two coconut cupcakes that only I would truly appreciate. Then, I cut up slices of birthday cake that I could fit into individual containers to eat throughout the week. Then, I took a step back and surveyed what was left over: five cupcakes and a third of the cake. Hm.

I could send it to school with JG, I thought. … Or I could keep it all! We froze our wedding cake for a year — why not all of this stuff?!

Without stopping to question my logic (and caloric intake), I bagged the rest of the cupcakes and stuffed them into the freezer door, and then I stored the last four slices of birthday cake into a large plastic container with a parchment paper barrier between slices. Now, the freezer is like a birthday reprise just waiting to happen. Oh, yes. I proclaim that my birthday is in effect for as long as that cake lasts!

The best part about last week’s quasi-vacation was being able to spend time with people we don’t normally see. JG and I had a casual open house on New Year’s Day for the three college bowl games with friends from all arenas of life. Together, we grazed through the day on pigs-in-a-blanket, pizza rolls, crab dip, and raw vegetables. I also met Janet for lunch, and I realized after the fact that we had not once broached the topic of blogging. Instead, we talked about jobs, vacations, and plans for the future, as in, real subjects of conversation. We are friends In Real Life now!

For me, the most exciting social event was the reunion of my friends from my freshman college dorm. These days, we are scattered across the country, but all of our families are still on the east coast, so I sent out an e-mail to see if it might be at all possible to hang out sometime between Christmas and the new year. Since our last adventure at UD’s homecoming, there has been a wedding and an engagement! We were overdue for a get-together. Plus, one couple lives in San Francisco, so I hoped to loop them in during their holiday tour.

By some form of magic, everyone was able to make it for the Wednesday night I suggested (one response even included volunteering to make chocolate truffles for dessert). Yes! I made a huge slow cooker of chili, a big salad, and a double batch of corn bread, and everyone descended on our house from their various home states. I had prepped for The Best Game Ever in case anyone was interested, but we never needed it because we spent hours and hours talking and catching up. Everyone admired the kitchen renovation, and we heard the newest engagement story, which is one of the best I’ve ever heard. My old roommate and I talked about jobs and the publishing world, and JG showed off our newest Alton Brown book to another die-hard Good Eats fan. Almost everyone tried out Wii Sports Resort in between bites of dessert (I made raspberry squares to go with the truffles) while the rest of us laughed our faces off at their efforts. Ted loved having so much attention and eventually passed out on the couch.

It was one of those nights that ended too quickly and happens too rarely. I’m struggling to fully explain how much fun we had together because whenever we manage to do it, I think, “Why did we wait so long to do this?” After freshman year, I regretted not being as tightly woven into the group as I had once been, but it warms the cockles of my heart that we all still keep in touch. Five years ago, we were randomly placed in one end of a freshman dorm, and after weddings, grad school, jobs, cross-country moves, and new business ventures, we still have a good time together. How does that work? Is it simply a result of having lived together at a really formative time of life? Or did that random roommate-picker computer just happen to slap together fun, smart, awesome people?

Our Thanksgiving get-together at my in-laws’ house was just as I expected. We ate lots of turkey,

got sleepy,

and took naps.

We watched some football and basketball. We took many family pictures. We played Musical Catchphrase, Blokus, and Perudo.  I started knitting what will turn out to be a massive scarf, ate green Jell-O salad for breakfast one morning, came away with fuchsia shoes on Black Friday, and zoomed through a margarita sampler.

However, as far as the main events were concerned, Ted had them down.