Archive: Geeky

Our Halloween plans this year are kind of nonexistent. JG has class tonight and I’ll be by myself, so there won’t really be a festive atmosphere. He’ll get home around 7pm and we’ll chow down on slow-cooked beef burritos as we hide from wandering ghouls. Terrible as it might seem, we’ve chosen to abstain from handing candy out this year due to our neighborhood’s striking number of who I would deem to be ineligible trick-or-treaters. I don’t mind the kids in their costumes; I could do without the sponging parents, infant siblings, and teenage mooches. I have accepted the fact that I’m a Scrooge whose porch light will be off tonight and that is just fine with me.

That is not to say that we are completely bereft of any Halloween spirit. JG loves to carve pumpkins, so no October is complete without picking pumpkins, swathing the dining table in newspaper, and hacking away at a gourd. This year, we decided to go nerdy with our jack-o’-lanterns — surprise, surprise — and I was pretty pleased with the results. JG’s pumpkin pi came out really well, but my Scrabble BOO was not quite as clear when it was lit. I had to piece together the pattern on my own and it wasn’t quite the clean, sharp, Scrabble-tile look I imagined. I think I should have cut out larger pieces, but I am paranoid that the pumpkin will cave in on me. A dimly-lit jack-o’-lantern is my reward for caution.

JG finished his pumpkin in about 30 seconds, so while I chipped away at my letters, he roasted up pumpkin seeds for snacking (approximated recipe after the jump) and the house smelled warm and yummy. Our Halloween will be pretty low-tech tonight, but salty pumpkin seeds, a cozy house, and a snuggly puppy more than make up for it.

Right now, I’m donning a tiara and making my way to the hospital’s annual costume parade, which I hear is an event not to be missed in these parts. Happy Halloween!

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Happy Mole Day! It’s a happy day in Chemistry Land set aside for singing “The Element Song” and telling punny jokes about moles!

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Wait, people don’t know what Mole Day is? Pi Day is this national institution, but Mole Day goes neglected like the red-headed stepchild of fake holidays? Even Talk Like a Pirate Day gets a lot of fanfare! The love I have for this day is deep-seated and strongly-rooted from celebrating with my chemistry teacher in high school, so today, there will be no excuse for not knowing (and loving) all that is Mole Day.

Nestled within National Chemistry Week, October 23 celebrations glorify the mole and Avogadro’s number, approximated at 6.022 x 10²³. A mole is an absolute number without a unit, similar to a dozen. A dozen is always 12, whether it’s made up of donuts or people or cars. It’s the same with a mole, except that it’s always 6.022 x 10²³, which is a number of fantastic magnitude, such that a mole of oranges would be as large as the earth. Practically speaking, when dealing with elements and compounds, the mole allows us to switch between atomic mass units (which are ridiculously small) to grams, which we can see, feel, and measure. So, 6.022 x 10²³ atoms of carbon (atomic weight of 12 amu), or a mole of it, would have a mass of 12 grams, which is so much more helpful because we have known atom quantity and mass. On Mole Day, we’re really celebrating the awesomeness of this one magical number.

Not awesome? Or magical? Fine. Then I bake.

At our house, math nerds aren’t the only ones who get specialty baked goods. In popular Mole Day tradition, I tried out a new recipe for molasses cookies. I considered making guacamole, which has the attraction of being doubly punny (it’s called guacaMOLE and “avocado” is so similar to “Avogadro”), but I was in the mood for something sugary this year, so I searched out a new cookie to try. Tasty though they were, they were disappointingly flat and I did not deem the recipe worth sharing, but no matter! Mole Day marches on! I packed up the cookies for JG’s fellow math and science teachers with a note: “Celebrate Mole Day with a MOLasses cookie!”

I know, it’s geeky. But I love it. I love it so much. Every dork has its day, right? Well, this is mine.

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I keep finding that no matter how well I think I know JG, he keeps topping himself. It’s not just that his itch to plant grass seed has sprung up earlier than last year. I can overlook the constant monitoring of no less than three unique March Madness brackets, complete with talking smack on the corresponding message boards. Tonight, however, JG hit a new high.

Thanks to one of his oft-read math blogs, JG discovered a source of great pleasure in The Klein Four, an a capella musical group made up of Northwestern University math graduate students. The blog featured a YouTube video of The Klein Four singing their original hit, “Finite Simple Group (of Order Two)”, from their album, Musical Fruitcake. From what I gathered from JG’s exclamations and bursts of laughter, the song lyrics contained a huge number of mathematical references within the context of a romantic relationship. “This is awesome,” he breathed.

JG hopped on the group’s website and became a fan before my very eyes. “Look at these lyrics! So cool! And they have other stuff!” My husband is not an impulse buyer by any means, but within fifteen minutes, he ordered Musical Fruitcake and a geeky-but-ominous t-shirt. JG mused gleefully, “I am totally playing this CD for my kids. They are going to hate it!” He exhibited a surprising level of restraint when he resisted the urge to buy the perfect classroom accessory: the modular wall clock. I’m so proud.

Don’t get me wrong - I could count the number of jokes I understood from the YouTube video on one hand, but I still thought it was clever and funny. Those grad students can actually sing! I mock, but I love that JG loves math so much. I really think it makes him a better teacher for his students and it’s sweet to see him so enthusiastic. Besides, he puts up with me when I wax poetic about how water’s specific heat and polarity make the world go ’round, but that’s another story.

I started typing while JG was finishing up his order of geek merchandise. He turned to me and said, “RA, I’m glad we’re a finite simple group of order two.”

“Um. You know just what to say to make a girl feel good.”

“I do think a simple connected graph with two nodes would be more accurate, but whatever. Let’s always be a finite simple group of order two.”

“Okay.”

“Are you writing about me?”

“… Nope.”

“Are you lying?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t care! I’m a nerd and I’m okay with it!”

Mm hmm. They say acceptance is the first step.

Evidently, I am not the only person who enjoys a good pun! When I was a kid, I had a whole shelf full of joke books: 101 Dinosaur / Hamburger / Vampire / etc. Jokes, The Biggest Riddle Book Ever, and 1,001 Knock-Knock Jokes. I knew them all, but the ones with puns were my favorites. I mean, how great is, “Orange you glad you didn’t say banana?” It’s a classic!

Unfortunately, JG does not share this opinion; even worse, he insists on calling puns “the lowest form of humor”! I always respond, “But it’s okay because I’m a low person,” emphasizing my shortness and – ha! – slipping in a pun, kind of, for good measure. When I told him over dinner that I was going to post my 21-Pun Salute, he groaned dramatically.

“Hey! My mom gave me that card and I love it!”

Another groan.

I narrowed my eyes and pointed my fork at him. “Your bad attitude will be properly documented, mister.”

I had to dig out the card from a shoebox of old birthday cards, postcards from friends, and mementos from studying abroad. Being a pack rat does pay off at times! I thought I would simply transcribe everything, but the illustrations added so much. I’m uncertain of the copyright situation, so here is a disclaimer: this card was manufactured by Ambassador Cards, a Hallmark brand.

Lastly, I have to give a big shout-out to my mom for sending me this awesome card back in the day. It still makes me laugh out loud, especially #6 and 20, but I will understand if some people can’t help but groan. Meanwhile, JG will be writhing around in pain if he happens to read this post. Heh.

(click for a super-zoomed-in version)

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